IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

More and more people are using computers and electric devices to access information, therefore there is no need for printed books magazines and newspapers on paper. To what extent you agree or disagree?

Nowadays, digital
libraries
Use synonyms
 offer
an
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 ability to reach millions of
books
Use synonyms
 on their websites. Some people think that
its
Replace the word
it's
it is
show examples
an
Change the article
a
show examples
 huge advance,
while
Linking Words
 others
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
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stress
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the printed
Use synonyms
books
Change noun form
books'
book's
show examples
 pivotal role. I will explain my opinion with related
example
Fix the agreement mistake
examples
show examples
 in the following essay. Some people feel that electronic
libraries
Use synonyms
are play
Change the verb form
play
show examples
vital
Add an article
a vital
show examples
 role in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
modern life for several reasons. First of all, it gives access to big number of
books
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
, pupils in the past need to visit
multible
Correct your spelling
multiple
 places to get what they want,
comparing
Wrong verb form
compared
show examples
 to the new situation of searching.
Secondly
Linking Words
, virtual
libraries
Use synonyms
are provide
Change the verb form
provide
show examples
 essential tools that could pave the way to rare press
release
Fix the agreement mistake
releases
show examples
.
For instance
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, the
abilities
Fix the agreement mistake
ability
show examples
of using
Replace the preposition
to use
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 search icons.
Finally
Linking Words
, there is no doubt that digital
books
Use synonyms
 are helping the readers to save their efforts and money.
This
Linking Words
mean
Change the verb form
means
show examples
 that folks
no
Add a missing verb
have no
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 need
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 rent
car
Correct article usage
a car
show examples
 or
using
Wrong verb form
use
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 a cap to go to the library.
On the contrary
Linking Words
, there are numerous
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
communities
dont
Correct your spelling
that
 prefer to use electronic devices for reading. They build their
predication
Correct your spelling
prediction
show examples
on
Change preposition
for
show examples
 various reasons.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, it is not healthy for poor eyesight cases. A good illustration for
this
Linking Words
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 is that staying
along
Correct your spelling
a long
show examples
 time
front
Change preposition
in front
show examples
 of screens may lead to significant negative impacts.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, some societies claim that there are high percentages of
misinformations
Fix the agreement mistake
misinformation
show examples
 and fake
bookes
Correct your spelling
books
 and magazines
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the internet.
Therefore
Linking Words
, some universities urge their students to visit trusted
libraries
Use synonyms
.
In addition
Linking Words
, It is noticeable that many families
damaged
Add a missing verb
are damaged
show examples
 by new technology.
Expertes
Correct your spelling
Experiments
 of
sharjah college
Correct your spelling
Sharjah College
show examples
announce
Wrong verb form
announced
show examples
 that
digital
Correct article usage
the digital
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 market
cause
Replace the word
causes
show examples
 a huge number of layoffs
staff
Change preposition
of staff
show examples
, which will raise the unemployment rates. On balance, I would argue that communities should
adapting
Change the verb form
adapt
be adapting
show examples
 and benefit from
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
modern technology features. I tend to believe that we are in
perfect
Add an article
a perfect
show examples
 era which provides
multible
Correct your spelling
multiple
 resources for scientists to improve their scientific research.

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coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction, but the arguments could be organized better. Make sure each paragraph focuses on one main point and connects clearly to your overall argument.
task achievement
Some sentences are unclear or have grammar mistakes. Pay attention to your grammar and try to use simpler sentences to make your points clearer.
task achievement
You need to provide more specific examples to support your points. Instead of saying 'many families damaged by new technology,' explain how this happens with a specific example.
content
You have chosen a relevant and interesting topic, showing the importance of digital technology and printed books.
content
Your introduction provides clear direction for your essay, stating the topic and your opinion clearly.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • digital media
  • printed materials
  • tactile experience
  • collectible nature
  • reading habits
  • archival stability
  • data corruption
  • obsolescence of technology
  • interactive learning experiences
  • adjustable font sizes
  • text-to-speech
  • inclusive
  • accessibility
  • environmental benefits
  • skim reading
  • in-depth reading
  • longevity
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