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Writing Samples
Band 7

⚪️ People these days watch TV, films and other programmes alone rather than with other people. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages.

These days, a plethora of people prefer to spend their leisure time watching
TV
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, movies, and other programmes by themselves
instead
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 of with others.
This
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 trend may lead to some advantages
as well as
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 disadvantages.
This
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 essay argues that the demerits of spending pastime on
such
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 activities alone outweigh the merits. On the one hand, there are several benefits of watching films and other
TV
Use synonyms
 shows alone.
First,
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individuals
Use synonyms
 have an opportunity to focus more on characters and themes which provides more entertainment. To give an example, most series have numerous concealed details which can be noticed with significant attention.
Second,
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a myriad of people prefer to watch movies alone by their own choice because they do not want to be distracted by others. To illustrate, some
individuals
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 yap a lot
instead
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 of focusing on what is shown on
TV
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, so they irritate the other person watching the movie with their insignificant ideas.
On the other hand
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, from my standpoint, the community should spend their leisure time with their families and friends. In fact, entertainment is one of the best ways of strengthening bonds among people. In the modern world,
individuals
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 have very rigorous schedules in workplaces or education centres where they experience exhausting events.
That is
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 why, spending pastime with households and friends alleviates their stress levels and helps them to maintain their connections.
For instance
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, watching documentaries
together with
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 their friends provides a chance to obtain various interpretations and grasp the whole concept of the movie. These discussions help the community not only to sustain their relationships with their mates but
also
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 to improve their way of thinking. In conclusion,
while
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 some
individuals
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 enjoy spending their free time more watching
TV
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 shows and films alone, I believe that
this
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 fashion has significant drawbacks which
prevail
Verb problem
outweigh
show examples
 the positive sides.

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coherence and cohesion
Make sure each paragraph has a clear main idea and that all sentences support it. Try to add clearer connections between your points.
task achievement
Include more specific examples to strengthen your points, as this will improve your argument.
task achievement
Your introduction clearly states your opinion on the topic, which is good for clarity.
task achievement
You provide some relevant examples to support your ideas, which is a positive aspect of your writing.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • personal freedom
  • compromise
  • negotiate
  • viewing preferences
  • enhanced focus
  • immerse
  • understanding
  • appreciation
  • independent decision-making
  • autonomy
  • personal responsibility
  • isolation
  • social disconnection
  • loneliness
  • shared viewing experiences
  • bonding opportunities
  • collective experience
  • discussions
  • communal aspect
  • screen time
  • physical and mental health
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