IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people believe that robots will play an important role in future society while others argue that robots might have negative effects on society. Discuss both of view and give your opinion.

While
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 globalisation comes alongside rapid advancement in technology, robotics and AI have
also
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 become a growing trend
on
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in
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 wide working areas, especially among young people.
These
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This
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 topic leads to a
debateable
Correct your spelling
debatable
 question : did
robots
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 potentially come with
negatives
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negative
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impacts
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 or positive effects
to
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on
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 society?
However
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, some
argues
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argue
show examples
 that
robots
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 have
postive
Correct your spelling
positive
 aspects higher than negative aspects for humanity. In
following
Correct article usage
the following
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 paragraphs, I will explain both of negative and positive aspects of
robots
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. In
the
Correct article usage
apply
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terms of disadvantages, the involvement of
robotic
Replace the word
robotics
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 in daily life among
students
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siginificantly
Correct your spelling
significantly
impacts
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 and disrupts their creative thinking and critical thinking
due to
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 when they do not know anything, they
that
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apply
show examples
will not face
problem
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problems
show examples
 keep using
of
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apply
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AI to resolve their
homeworks
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homework
 or issues.
Moreover
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, it leads to numerous
impacts
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to
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on
show examples
students
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such
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 as
lack
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a lack
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 of education, ambition or concentration.
For instance
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, when I
look
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looked
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 around in a university
libarary
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library
, I
saw
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see
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 almost
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students
Correct determiner usage
all students
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 still using AI to generate
ideas
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 for their projects
instead
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 of group discussion or brainstorming. In the
long-term
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long
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 education, AI will ruin
students
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'
ideas
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 and creativity, and
as a result
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, products
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
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created by
students
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 will be the same
ideas
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due to
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 everyone
do
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does
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 not create
own
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their own
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 original
ideas
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.
In addition
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, many newspapers report that
consuming
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consumption
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 of AI generation becomes
environmental
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an environmental
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issues
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issue
show examples
 because
of
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apply
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large amounts of energy are costed
by
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apply
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one time
of
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apply
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AI generation.
On the other hand
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, the rise of AI or robotics
come
Correct subject-verb agreement
comes
show examples
 alongside easier working of idea generation in every working
areas
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area
show examples
.
Additionally
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, AI will be more and more clever than nowadays. The improvement of AI enhance dramatically some technological and scientific
researchs
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research
,
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apply
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 because AI in super
computer
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computers
show examples
 can
predicts
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predict
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 results
million
Correct article usage
a million
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 faster than physical processing in the lab by
human
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humans
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.
Furthermore
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, AI potentially play an important role in many areas, leading to high development of humanity reality. In
the
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apply
show examples
conclusion, I strongly agree with
Use synonyms
robots
Fix the agreement mistake
robot
show examples
 uses. Because there are many negative
impacts
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 from using them,
while
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 they can provide huge numbers of
informations
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information
pieces of information
show examples
, quick predictions and analysis in few minutes for us.
As a consequence
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,
those technology
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that technology
those technologies
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 can enhance
well-being
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the well-being
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for
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of
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community
Add an article
the community
a community
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 in short-term
strategy
Fix the agreement mistake
strategies
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 and long-term plans.

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Task Achievement
Your introduction mentions both sides but could be clearer. Try to state your opinion more directly at the end of the introduction.
Coherence and Cohesion
Organize your paragraphs better. Ensure clear topic statements for each paragraph. This helps readers follow your ideas easily.
Coherence and Cohesion
Use simpler and more precise language. Phrases like 'the involvement of robotic' might be clearer as 'the use of robots'.
Task Achievement
Make sure to give clear examples for your points. For instance, you mention students' reliance on AI—explain how this affects their future jobs or creativity further.
Task Achievement
You present a balanced view by discussing both the positive and negative effects of robots before sharing your opinion.
Task Achievement
You make good points about education and creativity, which are relevant in the context of the debate about robots.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • robots
  • society
  • important
  • role
  • negative
  • effects
  • tasks
  • easier
  • clean
  • homes
  • cook
  • meals
  • care
  • elderly
  • quality
  • life
  • jobs
  • fields
  • design
  • software
  • development
  • maintenance
  • technology
  • advances
  • unemployment
  • economic
  • problems
  • privacy
  • security
  • common
  • data
  • risks
  • information
  • well-being
  • medical
  • fields
  • surgeries
  • patient
  • care
  • lives
  • health
  • outcomes
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