IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

The plans below show a public park when it first opened in 1920 and the same park today. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The two maps illustrate the changes that have occurred to Grange
Park
Use synonyms
 today from 1920 when it first opened.
Overall
Linking Words
, there were several features that have been moved, but the main change is the development of the amphitheatre, water feature, children’s play
area
Use synonyms
 and the removal of the fountain. To make more accessibility, the two original entrances located on Arnold Avenue and Eldon Street are still kept with an addition of another entrance from the underground car
park
Use synonyms
 through Eldon Street. The seats which were
initially
Linking Words
 set around the edges of the
park
Use synonyms
 have been concentrated
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the central
park
Use synonyms
 feature encircling a rose garden after the demolishment of the fountain in that
area
Use synonyms
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the two other rose gardens which were located next to Arnold Avenue’s entrance and at the north-west of the
park
Use synonyms
 have been demolished. A huge development
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the entertainment
area
Use synonyms
 has
been
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
taken place, in which the stage for musicians has been upgraded to an enormous amphitheatre for concerts. Having been converted into a children’s play
area
Use synonyms
 and a cafe, the pond for water plants is now gone. A water feature has now been added to the south-east of the
park
Use synonyms
 replacing the glasshouse.

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task achievement
Expand the introduction to briefly mention the main features that have changed.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words to improve the flow between sentences and make comparisons clearer.
task achievement
Include more specific examples about the changes to support your comparisons.
content
The essay clearly outlines the main changes to the park.
structure
The information is presented in a logical order, starting from the original state to the current state.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • alterations
  • renovations
  • modernize
  • upgraded
  • transformed
  • landscaping
  • facilities
  • amenities
  • preservation
  • heritage
  • green spaces
  • eco-friendly
  • public space
  • community impact
  • historical elements
  • conservation
  • recreational areas
  • urban planning
  • sustainable development
  • layout
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