IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

People these days watch TV, films and other programmes alone rather than with other people. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages

There is no denying that
people
Use synonyms
 recently are watching
tv
Correct your spelling
TV
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, shows and
movies
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 alone.
While
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 it is commonly held
to
Change preposition
apply
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belief that many
people
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 prefer to watch
movies
Use synonyms
 alone. There
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
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is
also
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 an argument that many individuals love to watch with their
familes
Correct your spelling
families
 and friends.
In
Change preposition
apply
show examples
This
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 essay will analyse
this
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 topic
for
Change preposition
from
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 my point of view and express my opinion. On
one
Correct article usage
the one
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 hand, watching
movies
Use synonyms
 alone can be quite entertaining.
In other words
Linking Words
. many
people
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likes
Change the verb form
like
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 types of
movies
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 that other
people
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 don't like.
In
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addition'
Correct your spelling
addition
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 by watching
movies
Use synonyms
 alone you can focus without being distracted.
For example
Linking Words
. When watching
movies
Use synonyms
 with friends you can easily get distracted by them so you will not enjoy and understand the movie.
On the other hand
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, watching
movies
Use synonyms
 with
people
Use synonyms
 are
absolutely
Add an article
an absolutely
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 fun thing to do.
In other
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words
Add a comma
words,
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 you will laugh with them and discuss the show it can be really entertaining.
Moreover
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,watching films in the cinema can really make the experience more enjoyable.
For
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instance
Add a comma
instance,
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 cinemas can make you more excited and get you to know others and
made
Wrong verb form
make
show examples
 a lot of friends. In conclusion, there
is
Change the verb form
are
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 no easy answers to
this
Linking Words
 question . On balance,
however
Linking Words
,
i
Change the capitalization
I
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 tend to believe that the advantages of watching
movie
Fix the agreement mistake
movies
show examples
 with others can by far outweigh the disadvantages.

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task achievement
Make sure to clearly express your main ideas and provide examples that support them.
coherence and cohesion
Try to have a clear beginning, middle, and end in your essay. Make sure each part connects well.
task achievement
You presented both sides of the argument, which shows an understanding of the topic.
coherence and cohesion
Your conclusion summarizes your point of view well.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • personal freedom
  • compromise
  • negotiate
  • viewing preferences
  • enhanced focus
  • immerse
  • understanding
  • appreciation
  • independent decision-making
  • autonomy
  • personal responsibility
  • isolation
  • social disconnection
  • loneliness
  • shared viewing experiences
  • bonding opportunities
  • collective experience
  • discussions
  • communal aspect
  • screen time
  • physical and mental health
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