IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2

The subjects that children are taught in schools are decided by central authorities. Some people say that teachers, not politicians, should be responsible for this task. To what extent you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Numbers
Fix the agreement mistake
Number
show examples
 of people think that
subjects
Use synonyms
 that
teach
Wrong verb form
are taught
show examples
 by schools
mainly
Add a missing verb
are mainly
show examples
 decided by
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
 but
other
Fix the agreement mistake
others
show examples
 think it's
responsibility
Add an article
the responsibility
show examples
 of schools
Fix the infinitive
to teaches
show examples
teaches
Correct subject-verb agreement
teach
show examples
. I Completely agree
Linking Words
Change preposition
with this
show examples
this
Correct determiner usage
the
show examples
 notion school teachers are responsible for preparing
subjects
Use synonyms
 First of all ,
teaches
Replace the word
teachers
show examples
 are able to select
subjects
Use synonyms
 that are appropriate for each
Use synonyms
students
Change to a singular noun
student
show examples
 in their class,since they are aware
about
Change the preposition
of
show examples
Use synonyms
students
Change noun form
students'
student's
show examples
Use synonyms
interest
Fix the agreement mistake
interests
show examples
.
This
Linking Words
 is for
teaches
Correct your spelling
teachers
show examples
 who instruct
students
Use synonyms
, if
students
Use synonyms
 are made to study dislike they never show
interest
Use synonyms
.
For
Linking Words
example
Add a comma
example,
show examples
 some
students
Use synonyms
 like math ,physics and biology and some are
Use synonyms
interest
Wrong verb form
interested
show examples
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
 another field.
Secondary
Replace the word
Second
show examples
, if
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
government prepared
Add a hyphen
government-prepared
show examples
subjects
Use synonyms
 ,
adding
Wrong verb form
add
show examples
 extra curriculum which is difficult for
students
Use synonyms
,
students
Use synonyms
 never show
interest
Use synonyms
.
In
Linking Words
addition
Add a comma
addition,
show examples
 if school
teacher
Fix the agreement mistake
teachers
show examples
decided
Wrong verb form
decide
show examples
 what are the
subjects
Use synonyms
 of too
much
Change the quantifier
many
show examples
 variations in
standard
Fix the agreement mistake
standards
show examples
 and qualifications which is obviously unfair In conclusion,
it's seems
Change the verb form
it seems
show examples
 to be that both government and teaches their role in education ,
Linking Words
However
Add a comma
However,
show examples
 it is more beneficial for society

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Your essay has some ideas, but each point needs more explanation. Try to add more details and examples to support your arguments better.
coherence
Check your spelling and grammar. Words like 'teaches' should be 'teachers' and 'students interest' should be 'students' interests'.
coherence
Make sure each paragraph clearly shows a main idea. Try to start each paragraph with a topic sentence that shows what you will discuss.
coherence
In your conclusion, restate your main idea clearly. Make it more convincing and make sure it connects with what you've said before.
content
You show a good understanding of the topic and have clear personal opinions.
content
You mention that teachers know their students well, which is an important point.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: