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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people think that companies and individuals should pay to clear up the pollution they produced and that the government should not pay for it. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In today’s modern society, the problem of
pollution
Use synonyms
 has become much more serious. Some people believe that citizens and the company should take full responsibility for the
waste
Use synonyms
 they produce, and the
government
Use synonyms
 cannot charge for it. Personally, I do not agree with
this
Linking Words
 statement, and I believe that a healthy environment needs the cooperation of both the authorities and individuals.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, large-scale companies should pay to manage the
waste
Use synonyms
 they produce, since most of the harmful gases and wastewater come from
their
Change the word
the
show examples
 production processes that operate in their factories.
As a result
Linking Words
, they play a crucial role in protecting the environment. If they can reach the goal of being eco-friendly, the risk of
pollution
Use synonyms
 can decrease significantly.
Likewise
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, people
also
Linking Words
 take part in environmental protection.
Everyday
Correct your spelling
Every day
show examples
 people can generate lots of
waste
Use synonyms
,
for example
Linking Words
, using air conditioners produces
waste
Use synonyms
 gases, or pouring leftover food into the sink pollutes the water. So citizens undoubtedly should pay for it.
However
Linking Words
, the
government
Use synonyms
 should
also
Linking Words
 be involved in the process of clearing the
waste
Use synonyms
too
Rephrase
apply
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. As a large segment of
government
Use synonyms
 revenue comes from taxes paid by citizens, it is incumbent on them to satisfy the public needs. They can establish some rules and regulations to reward the companies that clean most of their
waste
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. The cleaner the company is, the more reward they
would
Wrong verb form
will
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 get. I think the authority can play a positive role
to encourage
Change preposition
in encouraging
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 enterprises to be more environmentally friendly. In
this
Linking Words
 way, the global warming and
pollution
Use synonyms
 problem can improve noticeably. In conclusion, in my opinion, I believe that keeping the environment clean is everybody’s responsibility.
Therefore
Linking Words
, everyone should make an effort to protect it. Ultimately, I think that both the
government
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 and individuals should pay to clear the
pollution
Use synonyms
.

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Task Achievement
Make sure each point is fully explained and supported with specific examples. For instance, you briefly mention individuals producing waste but could expand on how they can actively contribute to reducing pollution.
Coherence and Cohesion
Consider adding linking phrases to improve flow between paragraphs and ideas. For instance, use words like 'Furthermore' or 'Additionally' to connect thoughts clearly.
Task Achievement
You have a clear stance on the issue, and your introduction sets the expectation that you will discuss responsibilities.
Coherence and Cohesion
Paragraphs are well-structured and focused on specific aspects of the topic, which enhances readability.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Polluter Pays Principle
  • corporate accountability
  • economic incentives
  • conscious consumption
  • waste management
  • environmental damage
  • green technologies
  • financial responsibility
  • sustainable practices
  • government funds
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