IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

In some countries university students live at home with their family while they study, whereas in other countries students attend university in another city. Do you think the benefits of living away from home during university outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from own knowledge or experience.

There is an ongoing trend in some countries,
whereas
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 some college
students
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 are living with their
family
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families
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, other
students
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 are living apart from their
home
Fix the agreement mistake
homes
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 and staying in another area alone. Certainly, though doing so would bring some disadvantages to
students
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, they might benefit from those decisions in some parts. In
this
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 essay, I will discuss both
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benefits
Correct article usage
the benefits
show examples
 and drawbacks of
this
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 trend and explain why I consider that
total
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the total
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 advantages would outweigh
entire
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the entire
show examples
 disadvantages.
To begin
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 with, living without parents, brothers and sisters can benefit
students
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 themselves in terms of emotional and practical aspects.
For instance
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, by creating an independent environment, younger generations, including university
students
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, automatically need to manage their own daily lives because there is no one who has been
supporting
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supporting them
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.
In other words
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, they have to go
supermarkets
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to supermarkets
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 to obtain some food, to cook and to wash dishes they used by themselves without any help.
However
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, by managing these daily tasks continuously, they will become more independent and more confident.
Moreover
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, they will be able to acquire several
skills
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, including cooking, financial management and efficiency, through these daily experiences, and those
skills
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 are
also
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 practical and essential in the companies.
This
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 means that they can leverage those experiences and competencies, especially when they hunt the jobs in the future.
Therefore
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, the
benefits
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 brought by living alone are significant.
On the other hand
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, some people counterargue that if parents permit their
children
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 to live alone in another city, those
children
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 might be lazier
due to
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 the lack of
supervising
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supervision
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.
This
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 opinion is somehow correct, and similar cases occur sometimes.
For instance
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, when I was a student at university, one of my friends at that time
has been
Wrong verb form
was
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 always going to the bar and drinking, and those loose behaviours
consequently
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 led to low grades in the classes.
This
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 case indicates that there are certainly some possibilities that
this
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 trend generates disadvantages.
However
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, if
mother
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mothers
show examples
 and
father
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fathers
show examples
 keep helping their
children
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 even though he or she are already 19 or 20 years old, the growth of their societal
skills
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 will be delayed
as a result
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.
Thus
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, even if there are some risks that
students
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 themselves will be disadvantaged by living alone, parents should encourage them to do so because the
entire
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
benefits
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 are long-lasting and helpful for
children
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 to cultivate their own careers in the future. In conclusion,
while
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 there are possibilities that university
students
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 will be affected by the drawbacks of living alone, the advantages,
such
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 as emotional enhancements and pragmatic
skills
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, are remarkable.
For
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this
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 reason, I believe that the
benefits
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 of doing so would outweigh the drawbacks.

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coherence and cohesion
Make sure to clearly show how you support your main points. Each paragraph should focus on one main idea.
task achievement
Include more examples to support your ideas and make them clearer. This will strengthen your argument.
coherence and cohesion
Try to use simpler sentences for clarity. Some sentences are a bit long, which can confuse the reader.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
task achievement
You have good ideas about the benefits and drawbacks of living away from home, and you explained them well.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • independence
  • self-reliance
  • finance management
  • exposure
  • broaden horizons
  • open-minded
  • adaptability
  • conducive environment
  • isolation
  • homesickness
  • financial burden
  • household duties
  • academic responsibilities
  • personal growth
What to do next:
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