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Writing Samples
Band 7

The chart below shows what Anthropology gradutes from one university did after finishing their undergradute degree course. The table shows the salaries of the anthropologists in work after five years.

The chart below shows what Anthropology gradutes from one university did after finishing their undergradute degree course. The table shows the salaries of the anthropologists in work after five years.
The pie chart illustrates the career path of Anthropology
students
Use synonyms
 after graduation,
while
Linking Words
 the table shows how much salary they got in
work
Use synonyms
 after five years.
Overall
Linking Words
, the majority of
students
Use synonyms
 went into full-time
work
Use synonyms
 after graduation and the least chosen by
students
Use synonyms
 was part-time
work
Use synonyms
 with postgrad study.
In addition
Linking Words
, half of the graduates who
work
Use synonyms
 government sector gained the highest salary after five years.
According to
Linking Words
 the pie chart, more than half of
students
Use synonyms
 worked full-time jobs (52%) after graduation. A
further
Linking Words
 15% continued with part-time
work
Use synonyms
 and another 12% remained unemployed among these
students
Use synonyms
. Meanwhile, both part-time
work
Use synonyms
 with postgrad study together only 5%. Full-time postgrad study and
students
Use synonyms
 which not know what they did after university were the same (8%). The table shows that 40% of freelance consultants and 50% of government sector employees earned over $100,000 after five years of
work
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
 only 5% of individuals in each of these categories received the lowest salary range of $25,000–$49,999. Anthropologists who chose private companies divided nearly the same among all types of salaries except 25000-49999$ with only 10%. The 50000-74999, 750000-99999 and 100000+ were 35%, 35% and 30% respectively.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words students, work with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "shows" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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