IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

Labour-saving devices such as dishwashers and communication tools such as computers are supposed to make our lives easier. However, some people argue that these devices only make them more difficult. Does modern technology reduce or increase stress? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

There is no denying the fact that new technology machines have
rasied
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raised
 a considerable debate
of
Change preposition
about
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 its useful effect or
wether
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whether
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 it made people's
live
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lives
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 more difficult and stressful than before. In
this
Linking Words
essay
Add a comma
essay,
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 I will discuss both
point
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points
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 of view and give my opinion.
One
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On
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one
Correct article usage
the one
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 hand, the community believe that modern devices are increasing the stress in their lives as these machines are costing them a lot amount of money and not everyone
could
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can
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 afford
it
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them
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wich
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which
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 will act as a burden.
In other words
Linking Words
, the electricity
pill
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bill
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at the end
Linking Words
 of the month will cost them more. Another point to consider, some elderly
population
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populations
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does
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do
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 not have enough knowledge to deal with smart devices.
For example
Linking Words
, individuals now are paying
their
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for their
show examples
 house pills by the use of computers or
smart phones
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smartphones
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 which
lead
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leads
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 older ones
seeking
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to seek
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the
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apply
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support from their family members.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, many people say that modern technology has too
much
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many
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benifits
Correct your spelling
benefits
benefit
 as it is a time saver.
For instance
Linking Words
, we could start two machines at the same time, like setting the dishwasher and
let
Wrong verb form
letting
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 the robotic
vaccum
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vacuum
Linking Words
to
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apply
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begin.
Moreover
Linking Words
, these new inventions have saved a significant amount of effort and individuals have the chance to relax or to do something else. In conclusion, despite people having different points of view, in my opinion, I consider that
,
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apply
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 households can take the
advantages
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advantage
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 of these recent inventions and use
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
 on balance.

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task achievement
Try to clarify your main points and provide a more balanced view of both sides before giving your own opinion.
coherence and cohesion
Use clearer connections between your ideas. Use linking words like 'firstly', 'on the other hand', and 'in addition' to improve flow.
general
Avoid spelling mistakes, such as 'wet' instead of 'yet', and 'benifits' instead of 'benefits', to make your writing clearer.
task achievement
You did a good job of presenting both sides of the argument.
coherence and cohesion
Your conclusion nicely summarizes your opinion.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Labour-saving
  • Devices
  • Communication
  • Technology
  • Easier
  • Difficult
  • Stress
  • Save
  • Time
  • Effort
  • Focus
  • Important
  • Activities
  • Manage
  • Daily
  • Tasks
  • Efficiently
  • Overwhelmed
  • Expectation
  • Connected
  • Pressure
  • Anxiety
  • Feelings
  • Individuals
  • Usage
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