IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Transporting large amount of food to richer nations from developing countries is having an impact on air pollution and climate change. Some people say such imports should therefore be reduced. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

The dependency of people on
variety
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a variety
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 of
food
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 and
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impact
Correct article usage
the impact
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 on the
environment
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 owing to
import
Correct article usage
the import
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 of large
amount
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amounts
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 of
food
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 from developing nations to more developed nations is becoming a major concern. It has been observed that because of the surge in importing
food
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 by means of
air
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, land and water,
the
Correct article usage
apply
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air
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 pollution is consistently increasing and has a significant
impact
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 on the
climate
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. I firmly believe that
such
Linking Words
 imports ought to be reduced which will not only help
promoting
Wrong verb form
promote
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 local
food
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 supply because of shorter
distances
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 but
also
Linking Words
 help in reducing
carbon
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 emissions throughout the world. Commencing with the most significant reason why
import
Correct article usage
the import
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 of
food
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 supply across countries should be reduced, it will hugely help in reducing
carbon
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 emissions. Most of the transport of
food
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 over long
distances
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 requires planes or ships that burn fossil fuels which emit harmful gases and increase
carbon
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emission
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emissions
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 in the
environment
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.
Hence
Linking Words
, limiting
such
Linking Words
 imports will reduce the overuse of fossil fuels and ultimately help in lowering
air
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 pollution.
For example
Linking Words
, as per
the
Correct article usage
a
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 recent survey conducted by WHO,
air
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 pollution can be reduced by 40% by accelerating local imports within a country.
Moreover
Linking Words
, owing to the over-reliance of transportation means on
the
Correct article usage
apply
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fossil fuels, the
impact
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on
Change preposition
of
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climate
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 change is widely observed across the globe. The harmful gases and
carbon
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 footprints left
while
Linking Words
 transporting
food
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 over long
distances
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 have significantly accelerated the melting of glaciers
coupled with
Linking Words
 the depletion of
ozone
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the ozone
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 layer.
This
Linking Words
 has proved to be
major
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a major
the major
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 cause for the recent
climate
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 change being overserved in many countries.
For example
Linking Words
, Canada has seen the worst temperature rise in the past 40 years because of
climate
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 change, leading to short winter durations and reducing the
food
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 production that requires winter conditions.
To conclude
Linking Words
, I would say that there is a dire need to aware people
about
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of
show examples
 the
impact
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 of
food
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 transport on
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environment
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the environment
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 and encourage them to buy local
food
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.
This
Linking Words
 will not only help in boosting a country's local economy but
also
Linking Words
 help significantly in reducing harmful
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impact
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impacts
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 on
climate
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 and
air
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. The government
also
Linking Words
 needs to make stringent policies regarding the reduction of
food
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 transportation over long
distances
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 to minimize the
impact
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 on
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environment
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the environment
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.

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task achievement
Your introduction clearly states your opinion, which is good. However, try to add a brief overview of the main reasons you will discuss.
coherence and cohesion
Each paragraph has a main idea, but some points could be clearer. Make sure to connect your ideas smoothly, using linking words like 'firstly', 'additionally', and 'finally'.
task achievement
You provided some examples, but make sure they directly support your main points. This will make your arguments stronger.
task achievement
Your essay has a clear opinion on the topic and stays focused on that opinion throughout.
task achievement
You used good examples to support your points, which helps to make your arguments stronger.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • transport
  • food
  • imports
  • pollution
  • climate
  • change
  • reduce
  • agree
  • disagree
  • impact
  • local
  • economic
  • environment
  • support
  • farmers
  • distance
  • fossil fuels
  • carbon footprint
  • local economy
  • awareness
  • consume
  • seasonal
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