IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The plans below show the layout of a university’s sports center now, and how it will look after redevelopment.

The maps illustrate the plan
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 the existing layout of a university’s
sports
Use synonyms
 centre and the redevelopment plans
in
Change preposition
for
show examples
 the future.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is apparent that the indoor area will be significantly expanded by replacing the outdoor courts with an indoor area
more
Change preposition
with more
show examples
 functions,
such
Linking Words
 as
hall
Correct article usage
a hall
show examples
, pool, studios, and additional services. In the present map, starting from the South of the
sports
Use synonyms
 centre, there is a reception in front of the gate. Behind it, we can see a 25-meter pool in the centre of the arena, which is surrounded by
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
seating in the East, a changing room in the West, and a gym in the North. Outside the central structure, there are 2 outdoor courts, one on the eastern
side
Use synonyms
 and the other on the western
side
Use synonyms
. In the future plans, the existing indoor area will not be rebuilt massively, except for expanding the gym to the East. On the eastern
side
Use synonyms
, the outdoor court will be replaced by a new
sports
Use synonyms
 hall next to the seating and 2 dance studios in the East of that hall. On the western
side
Use synonyms
, the court will be transformed into a large leisure pool.
Additionally
Linking Words
, there will be 2 new changing rooms located in the corner in the Southeast and Southwest.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, near the entrance, there will be a cafe situated to the East of the reception and a
sports
Use synonyms
 shop to the West.

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Coherence and Cohesion
Try to provide a clearer introduction by summarizing both maps briefly before going into details.
Coherence and Cohesion
Make sure to clearly conclude by summarizing the key changes. This will give a clearer end to your essay.
Task Achievement
Add more details to explain why the new features are beneficial for the users of the sports center.
Task Achievement
You have described the current layout and future plans clearly, showing the changes in the sports center effectively.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your use of connecting words makes the reading flow logically from one point to another.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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