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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

In many large cities, people waste hours of their time every day because of traffic congestion on the road. What are the causes of this, what solution can you suggest

In modern towns,
traffic
Use synonyms
congestion
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 on the street can lead to
time
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 loss on a daily basis. The foremost issue is not reaching the destination on
time
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. The best solution for
this
Linking Words
 cause is to improve the
road
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 infrastructure.
Firstly
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, in
traffic
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congestion
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 people do not reach their destination on
time
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.
This
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 would be
due to
Linking Words
 poorly constructed
roads
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 and the driving of people.
As a result
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, riders get stuck in
traffic
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. There might be some important transportation that should reach on
time
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, but
due to
Linking Words
traffic
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, that vehicle would not reach on
time
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.
For example
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,
last
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 week, an ambulance with a severe patient got stuck in
traffic
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 below the Rajiv Bridge.
As a consequence
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, that patient died because of the delay in reaching the hospital.
Secondly
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,
traffic
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congestion
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 can be resolved by improving the
road
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 infrastructure. Authorities should seriously take
this
Linking Words
 matter in hand and build
roads
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 in
such
Linking Words
 a way that there would not be any
traffic
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congestion
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.
Moreover
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, the government can widen the
road
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 and implement strict
traffic
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 rules, which would improve the smooth movement of vehicles.
For instance
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, in Mumbai, the Bandra-Worli sea link is a
road
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, where the government has well-invested money. That
road
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 is very wisely constructed and does not face any
traffic
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 every day.
To conclude
Linking Words
, being late to your destination
due to
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jam
Fix the agreement mistake
jams
show examples
 on the
road
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 in modern cities leads to a waste of
time
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. For
this
Linking Words
 major issue, the government has to interfere in it and make
roads
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 more advanced by spending money. In future, Authorities could launch more technically advanced projects for the improvement of
roads
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.

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task achievement
Provide a clearer topic sentence in the introduction that outlines the main points.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words to improve connection between ideas in paragraphs.
task achievement
Make sure all main points are well-developed with examples.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure the conclusion summarizes the main ideas and suggests broad implications.
content
The use of real-life examples added depth to the arguments.
task achievement
The essay addresses both the causes and solutions effectively.

Your opinion

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Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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