Some people think that competition at work, at School and in daily life is a good thing. Others believe that we should try to cooperate more, rather than competing against each other. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

There is no denying the fact that both
competition
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and cooperation play important roles in our personal and professional lives.
While
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some people argue that competing with others helps individuals achieve better results, others believe that collaboration leads to greater productivity and innovation.
This
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essay will discuss both perspectives before presenting my own opinion.  On
one
Correct article usage
the one
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hand,
competition
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can be quite helpful.
In other words
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, when competing against others you will give the best results and try to be better.
In addition
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, many companies have improved because of
competition
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.
For example
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apple and Android, Apple have improved significantly since Android started their new Samsung devices Apple saw that they were getting a lot of sales so they decided to release the new iPhone. 
On the other hand
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, cooperating more can be useful, it is
also
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possible to say when people cooperate with each other they can produce more ideas.
Moreover
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, many companies have grown dramatically after they cooperate with other organizations.
For instance
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, Nike with Jordan was the most successful collaboration and it made them grow by 100 per cent their shoes were the most popular one back in 2015.  In conclusion,
although
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competition
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can drive individuals to improve and achieve success, I firmly believe that cooperation fosters creativity, teamwork, and sustainable growth.
Therefore
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, encouraging collaboration is often more beneficial than promoting rivalry in most aspects of life.

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improvement
Strengthen the introduction by clearly stating the key points you will discuss in the essay.
improvement
Ensure each paragraph has a clear topic sentence that relates back to your main argument.
improvement
Try to elaborate on your examples to show how they support your points better.
improvement
Work on smoother transitions between ideas to improve the flow of your essay.
strength
You presented both views well, showing an understanding of the topic.
strength
Your conclusion effectively summarized your argument and presented your opinion clearly.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • innovation
  • productivity
  • excel
  • outperform
  • advancements
  • academic standards
  • work ethic
  • stress
  • anxiety
  • unhealthy rivalries
  • harmonious
  • supportive
  • collaborative learning
  • social skills
  • communication skills
  • sense of community
  • collective goals
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