Some people think that physical strength is important for success in sport, while other people think that mental strength is more important. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Games are a crucial part of

the

Correct article usage

show examples

individual's life as it is a source of entertainment and knowledge. Some people have a notion that the players should have the physical strength to become famous and other masses and I think that a powerful intellectual memory is the most pivotal part to

become

Wrong verb form

becoming

show examples

successful. I will discuss both views and my opinion in the

Linking Words

further

Correct word choice

following

show examples

paragraphs. To commence with, physical strength is an imperative part because it will help in long-term training. Most of the games like cricket, soccer and swimming are convoluted which is why a person needs 6 to 8 hours of coaching from their mentor in order to learn new tips and tricks to become a master in these games .

For instance

Linking Words

, the international cricket team appointed a coach who

has

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

provided them with immense and tough training

as a result

Linking Words

they won the IPL match .

On the other hand

Linking Words

, the game association only hire a player if he is mentally fit because a sound mind has a sound body . An individual can solve a complex situation with their problem-solving skills

hence

Linking Words

, it will polish their

overall

Linking Words

performance during a match . The captain of the team should have

Add an article

the

show examples

ability that he can enlighten the path of the team with his witty and sensible thoughts.

For instance

Linking Words

, a person with a strong mind can overcome obstacles and make a substantial accomplishment. In conclusion, mental strength is more important as compared to physical power . The masses should have vigilant and ignited thoughts in order to accomplish a task with determination and dedication.

Kaurharvinder2984Sat Jun 07 2025

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introduction

Your introduction is clear but could be more engaging. Try to write a stronger hook sentence to capture attention.

coherence

Make sure to clearly separate your points in each paragraph. Use more linking words like 'firstly', 'however', and 'finally' to improve flow.

support

Add more specific examples or details to support your arguments. Describe how mental strength leads to success.

clarity

Check grammar and clarity in sentences. Some sentences are long and complex, making them harder to understand.

task achievement

You presented both sides of the argument, which is good for Task Achievement.

coherence

Your conclusion summarizes your opinion clearly, which helps in coherence.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

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6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

267 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

physical conditioning
athleticism
physical training
muscle strength
mental resilience
psychological preparedness
mental toughness
confidence
precision
focus
mental strategies
mental fortitude
brute strength

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Some people think that physical strength is important for success in sport, while other people think that mental strength is more important. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

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