IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The best way to improve health is to do regular exercise . To what extent do you agree ?

The most effective method in developing and improving
health
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 is considered to be daily
exercise
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, in my opinion, ، I completely agree with
this
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 statement , and I believe
exercise
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 is the key to
health
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 for two reasons ,
To begin
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 with , I believe that doing daily
exercise
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 can improve our
body
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health
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 no matter what the
exercise
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 is , in fact, any
exercise
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 can improve our
heart
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 pump ,
although
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 doing any
exercise
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 without knowing what
that is
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 can lead to self-harm, doing it correctly can improve our
heart
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 , a study published by new york university in 2013 concluded that 90% of people who do
exercise
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 has better
heart
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health
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 than people who don't do any
exercise
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.
therefore
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 doing daily
exercise
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 can improve our general
health
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 .
In addition
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 ,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 believe that doing daily
exercise
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 can enchase our brain
health
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also
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 which can be more important if we want to make better design, what
i
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I
show examples
 mean
exercise
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 deliverers more CO2 into our
body
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 and the
mind
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 can be more focused,
furthermore
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, even if someone doing wrong exercises can improve his
health
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 in general
for example
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 , when you do
exercise
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 our
mind
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 stays focuses on what type of training that your doing and stay focus when you copy the moves , as result in the way to improve the
mind
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health
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 and our
body
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 is to do
exercise
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. In conclusion , I believe doing daily
exercise
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 is important to our
mind
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 and
body
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health
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 because daily
exercise
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 can improve our
heart
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 pump and
also
Linking Words
 keep our
mind
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 focused.

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task achievement
Make sure to use clear examples to support your points. It helps to explain your ideas better.
coherence and cohesion
Try to use clearer linking words to connect your ideas together. This will help your essay flow better.
coherence and cohesion
Check your spelling and grammar to make your writing clearer to the reader.
task achievement
You clearly state your opinion in the introduction.
task achievement
You provide some examples of how exercise helps health.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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