IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people think that governments should invest more in public transportation instead of building new roads. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

There are lots of debates about the efficiency of public
transport
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. It is thought by some
people
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 that the governments should focus on enhancing the current
transport
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 system rather than building a new one. Personally, I partially agree with
this
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 idea and I think that refining the transportation network and extending
roads
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 at the same time is the best decision.
To begin
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 with, the main reason for investing in public
transport
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 is that it reduces air pollution and traffic congestion. By using underground or buses,
people
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 may decrease the number of cars on the
roads
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 and, in turn, lower the amount of exhaust gas in the atmosphere.
For instance
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, Seoul is a multimillion city which, thanks to highly developed public transportation, was able to eliminate traffic congestion and improve the quality of air.
Thus
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, by investing in the public
transport
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 system we can better the environment and commuting at the same time.
On the other hand
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, constructing new
roads
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 plays a significant role in bettering
people
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's lives, especially in remote regions. It goes without saying that in rural areas or suburbs, where public
transport
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 is an unreliable and infrequent mode of transportation, the vast majority of the population relies on their private vehicles.
Thus
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, in order to, improve the connection between urban areas and countryside the new
roads
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 and highways should be built.
Therefore
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, developing infrastructure in these areas helps ensure balanced accessibility for all citizens In conclusion,
while
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 some
people
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 claim that governments should invest money only in the public
transport
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 system, I firmly believe that the development of public
transport
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 and road connection are equally important.
This
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 is because, improving public
transport
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 may reduce traffic jams and protect the environment
whereas
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, expanding road networks leads to enhancing the connection between remote regions and cities.

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coherence and cohesion
Make sure each paragraph has a clear main idea that links back to your opinion. This will improve the flow of your essay.
task achievement
Try to provide more specific examples to support your points. This will help clarify your argument.
coherence and cohesion
Consider using linking words and phrases to connect your ideas more smoothly. This enhances your essay’s logical flow.
task achievement
You have a clear thesis statement that presents your viewpoint effectively.
coherence and cohesion
Your conclusion nicely summarizes your main points, reinforcing your argument well.
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