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Writing Samples
Band 7

Some families think the best way to take care of their aging parents is to care for them at home. Others believe that it is better for their parents to live in a special home for the elderly. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

Caring for ageing parents is a responsibility that many individuals eventually face, and one critical decision involves choosing between
home
Use synonyms
-based
care
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 and residential
care
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facilities
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.
This
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 essay will explore both perspectives;
however
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, I firmly believe that providing
care
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 at
home
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 is ultimately the more compassionate and holistic option. Some people advocate for the use of residential
care
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 institutions, arguing that they offer more structured and medically reliable support. These
facilities
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 employ trained professionals, including healthcare assistants and registered nurses, who are available 24/7 to monitor and respond to residents' needs.
For instance
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, many elderly individuals suffer from chronic health conditions
such
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 as diabetes or hypertension, requiring strict adherence to medication schedules. In a professional
care
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 environment, staff members ensure that medications are administered accurately and on time, significantly reducing the risk of complications.
Moreover
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,
such
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facilities
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 often have access to emergency
care
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, rehabilitation services, and daily physical therapy routines, which may not be feasible in a
home
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 setting.
Nonetheless
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, despite these clinical advantages, residential
facilities
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 often fall short
in
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of
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 delivering the emotional intimacy and personalised attention that family-based
care
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 can provide. The institutional environment,
while
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 efficient, may feel impersonal and alienating to elderly residents.
On the other hand
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, supporting ageing parents within the
home
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 environment fosters emotional security and preserves their dignity. Transitioning to a
care
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 facility can trigger psychological distress, including feelings of abandonment or social isolation.
Home
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care
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,
in contrast
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, allows older adults to remain in familiar surroundings — often a neighbourhood they have lived in for decades — which promotes mental well-being and continuity.
Furthermore
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, staying at
home
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 enables them to maintain a sense of purpose and stay connected to family life, offering guidance and emotional support derived from their lived experience.
This
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 not only enriches family dynamics but
also
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 contributes to the
overall
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 resilience of the household. In conclusion,
although
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 residential
care
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facilities
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 provide professional healthcare and routine-based support, I believe that caring for elderly parents at
home
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 upholds emotional bonds, enhances their quality of life, and respects their psychological and social needs.
Therefore
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,
home
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-based
care
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 represents a more empathetic and well-rounded solution.

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coherence and cohesion
Make sure each paragraph has a clear main idea that connects to your overall argument.
coherence and cohesion
Try to use simpler sentences to express your ideas more clearly.
task achievement
Add a few more specific examples or personal anecdotes to strengthen your points.
task achievement
The essay presents a clear opinion on the topic and explores both views effectively.
coherence and cohesion
The arguments are well-structured, and it flows logically from one point to the next.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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