IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

A lot of places in the world rely on tourism as a main source of income. Unfortunately, tourism can also be a source of problems if it is not managed correctly. Describe the advantages and disadvantages of tourism in the modern world. Do you think that benefits of tourism overweigh its drawbacks?

There is no denying the fact that a huge number of tourists have
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
 advantages and disadvantages as many cities are
depening
Correct your spelling
dependent
 on tourism as
main
Correct pronoun usage
their main
show examples
 source of income. In
this
Linking Words
 essay, I will discuss the benefits and the
problrms
Correct your spelling
problems
 and give my opinion.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, tourists
are coming
Wrong verb form
come
show examples
 from different cultures and there is a chance that they do not have enough knowledge
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
 the country's rules and regulations.
For example
Linking Words
, individuals who are
traveling
Change the spelling
travelling
show examples
 to Saudi Arabia
does
Correct subject-verb agreement
do
show examples
 not know that
smooking
Correct your spelling
smoking
 is not allowed in public areas. Another point to consider, many developed countries
having
Wrong verb form
have
show examples
 the issue that visitors are coming to their country with a tourist visa and staying longer than the intended period.
For instance
Linking Words
, travellers from poor cities want to live and work without the needed permissions which negatively impacts
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the community. In
term
Fix the agreement mistake
terms
show examples
 of the benefits, there is no doubt that tourism can create new jobs which will significantly
improves
Change the verb form
improve
show examples
country's
Correct article usage
the country's
show examples
 financial status. To illustrate, the authorities may increase the number of taxi divers.
In addition
Linking Words
, travellers are booking hotels and
do
Wrong verb form
doing
show examples
 some shopping which means that they are spending a lot of money and
this
Linking Words
 will positively
enhances
Change the verb form
enhance
show examples
 local people's income. In conclusion, there are no easy answers to
this
Linking Words
 question. On balance, I tend to believe that there are many advantages
regarding
Change preposition
to
show examples
 tourism if the governments
managed
Wrong verb form
manage
show examples
 the visitors correctly.

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coherence and cohesion
Make sure to have clear main points in each paragraph. Use topic sentences to guide the reader.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples to support your points. This will strengthen your arguments.
coherence and cohesion
Check for spelling mistakes and grammatical errors, as they can distract from your message.
structure
You have a clear introduction and conclusion, which is good.
task achievement
You address both advantages and disadvantages, showing a balanced view.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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