IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

There have been several complaints about the reception area where visitors to your company arrive. Your manager has asked you to suggest how the reception area could be improved. Write a letter to your manager. In your letter -describe the complaints that have been made - say why the reception area is important - say why the reception area could be improved

Dear Sir , I am writing
this
Linking Words
 letter to express my gratitude for the opportunity to allow me
give
Add the particle
to give
show examples
a suggestions
Correct the article-noun agreement
suggestions
a suggestion
show examples
how
Change preposition
on how
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 we can
improvised
Verb problem
improve
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 the reception
area
Use synonyms
 .
This
Linking Words
 substantial problem has not been solved for the past two months .
Firstly
Linking Words
 , there is always a rush at the reception
area
Use synonyms
 which is the main cause of delay in customer's queries and
as a
Linking Words
result
Add a comma
result,
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 they become upset and frustrated.
Moreover
Linking Words
, we need two staff members at the entrance with a lot of experience and knowledge so , they can handle the convoluted situation with their witty thoughts and sensible nature . The reception
area
Use synonyms
 is
a
Correct article usage
the
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 face of a multinational
companie
Correct your spelling
company
companies
 and it is
very
Correct article usage
a very
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 crucial part
for
Change preposition
of
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 making a first exquisite impression on the customers
that is
Linking Words
 why , we should install
number
Change the article
a number
the number
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 of chairs to make
sitting
Add an article
the sitting
show examples
area
Use synonyms
 comfortable and
also
Linking Words
 draw the curtains back so that people can enjoy the outside view and patiently waiting for their turn . I hope you can consider these suggestions and I am looking forward to hearing from you. Yours faithfully, Harvi Yours

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coherence and cohesion
Make sure each paragraph has only one main idea. This will help your writing to be clearer.
task achievement
Try to use more simple and correct phrases. This will improve your clarity and tone.
task achievement
You addressed the importance of the reception area well.
coherence and cohesion
Your closing statement shows good manners and professionalism.
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