IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

summarize the information about the number of university graduates in canada

The line chart shows how many members of university graduates in Canada from 1992 to 2007 based on two genders, male and female. It is clear from the graph that alumni, both men and women, grew remarkably. The highest growth came from alumnae.
Overall
Linking Words
, the picture portrayed the number of male graduates
was
Correct your spelling
as
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 less than female. Regarding the question, alumnae had around 100.000 fellows at the beginning,
then
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 there was a fluctuation over the next
ten-year
Correct your spelling
ten years
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. The figure went up dramatically to 10.000 graduates in 2002, and for the next five years peaked at almost 150.000 in 2007. As for
alumnus
Fix the agreement mistake
alumni
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,
this
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 group had a surge volume of
member
Fix the agreement mistake
members
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 as well. The beginning of
group
Correct article usage
the group
show examples
 had 70.000 participants. In the first decade, the line chart pointed
a
Change preposition
to a
show examples
constant change. Until 2003, The participant shows gradual growth, from 80.000 to 90.000.
However
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, the improvement of
this
Linking Words
 community didn’t rise rapidly over time compared to others.

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coherence and cohesion
Make sure to clearly define the main points and structure them logically. It is helpful to group your ideas in a clear way.
coherence and cohesion
Include a brief introduction and conclusion to wrap up your main ideas. This helps the reader understand the overall message.
task achievement
Use more specific numbers and examples to support your points. This makes your arguments stronger and clearer.
task achievement
You provided a good base of information about the number of graduates. The general trends were clear.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • chart
  • information
  • number
  • university graduates
  • growing
  • gradually
  • 1992
  • 2007
  • overall increase
  • gradual growth
  • different rates
  • steady rise
  • significant jump
  • certain years
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