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Writing Samples
Band 6

The graph below gives information about the underground railway systems in six cities. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant

The graph below gives information about the underground railway systems in six cities. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant
The table shows the value
about
Change preposition
of
show examples
 how many passengers
underground
Change preposition
in underground
show examples
 railway systems were counted in six cities. The information
include
Change the verb form
includes
show examples
date
Correct article usage
the date
show examples
 opened,
length
Correct article usage
the length
show examples
 of the road, and passengers per year. The following places are
London
Use synonyms
, Tokyo, Paris, Washington DC,
Kyoto
Use synonyms
, and
Los
Use synonyms
Angeles
Use synonyms
. It is clear from the table that
London
Use synonyms
 had the longest routes of the railroad and opened for the first time among the candidates,
whereas
Linking Words
Kyoto
Use synonyms
 had the shortest rail and
Los
Use synonyms
Angeles
Use synonyms
 started the latest. In terms of customers per year, Tokyo had the highest amount with 1927 million, followed by Paris with 1191 million, making it the second-largest
passengers
Fix the agreement mistake
passenger
show examples
, and
Kyoto
Use synonyms
 showed lower figures among others. For the length of the route,
London
Use synonyms
 has the longest value around 397 km, considerably more than other cities,
while
Linking Words
 the shortest group are from
Los
Use synonyms
Angeles
Use synonyms
 at 28 km and
Kyoto
Use synonyms
with
Change preposition
at
show examples
 only 11 km. As mentioned in the question,
London
Use synonyms
 built the railroad in 1863, and after 37 years, Paris began to construct the same facility. In the next two decades, in 1927, Tokyo came into the business
as well as
Linking Words
Los
Use synonyms
Angeles
Use synonyms
 opened the underground railway network in 2001.

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Basic structure: Change the fifth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words london, kyoto, los, angeles with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "shows" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fifth paragraph.
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