IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2.5

Many office authorities impose restriction on smoking within the offices premises. Some governments have even banned smoking in all public places. This is a good idea but it takes away some of our freedom. What are your opinions on this?

Nowadays, the topic
smoking
Change preposition
of smoking
show examples
 is
geting
Correct your spelling
getting
 more and more important the
offices
Fix the agreement mistake
office
show examples
 authorities have
diffrence
Correct your spelling
different
policy
Fix the agreement mistake
policies
show examples
 about it, some of them do not
allwed
Correct your spelling
allow
allowed
 smoking within the offices
whilee
Correct your spelling
while
 others have banned it in all public, which I believe
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
is a good thing and
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
this
Linking Words
 essay I will share my opinions on
this
Linking Words
. First of all,
banned
Wrong verb form
banning
show examples
 smoking in all
publice
Correct your spelling
public
 places may be a
littel
Correct your spelling
little
 hard thing on some
people
Use synonyms
 how used to it, but
at the end
Linking Words
 of the day it is all about health care and if the governments
did
Wrong verb form
do
show examples
 not take a step to
portect
Correct your spelling
protect
people
Use synonyms
 from them selves, that may lead to a lot of sikneses for exampel, tha adicted
people
Use synonyms
 can have a canser, and in the long terms could lead to a health decrease in a community.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, when the office authorities impose
restriction
Fix the agreement mistake
restrictions
show examples
 on smoking that may give some freedom which
creat
Correct your spelling
creates
show examples
 some kind of
balenec
Correct your spelling
balance
, but that freedom has
bad
Add an article
a bad
show examples
 impact on the person
how
Correct word choice
who
show examples
 smokes
on self
Correct your spelling
himself
show examples
. All in all,
banned
Wrong verb form
banning
show examples
 the segar in all
publice
Correct your spelling
public
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
is the best thing the state could do even if it
take
Change the verb form
takes
show examples
 some of the freedom of
people
Use synonyms
.

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coherence and cohesion
Make your introduction clearer by stating your main opinion more directly.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure to check your spelling and grammar, as they can affect your clarity.
task achievement
Add specific examples to support your points, like the effects of smoking bans in specific areas.
coherence and cohesion
Make a clearer separation between your main ideas, using new paragraphs for each point.
task achievement
You have a clear view on the topic and express it in your writing.
task achievement
You understand the health reasons behind smoking bans and convey the idea well.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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