IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Given below, is a line graph showing closing average prices of precious metals in year 2013 to 2021

The line graph illustrates the average closing prices of
gold
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,
platinum
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, and palladium from 2013 to 2021, measured in dollars per ounce.
Overall
Linking Words
, palladium saw a dramatic increase over the period, surpassing both
platinum
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 and
gold
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,
while
Linking Words
platinum
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 declined
overall
Linking Words
.
Gold
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 remained relatively stable but showed a modest rise in later years. In 2013, both
gold
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 and
platinum
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 were priced
around
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at around
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 $1,500 per ounce,
while
Linking Words
 palladium was significantly lower, at roughly $700.
Platinum
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 steadily lost value, reaching a low of just over $800 by 2018.
Gold
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 dipped to about $1,100 in 2015 but remained relatively stable until 2018. Palladium’s price remained flat until 2016, after which it began a sharp ascent. By 2018, it had overtaken
platinum
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, and a year later, it surpassed
gold
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. It peaked at nearly $2,400 in 2020, making it the most valuable of the three.
Gold
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also
Linking Words
 rose steadily after 2018, reaching approximately $1,800 in 2020 and staying level
afterward
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afterwards
show examples
.
Platinum
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 showed
slight
Add an article
a slight
show examples
 recovery in the final years but remained the least valuable metal.

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task achievement
Make sure each point is clearly supported with examples from the graph.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure smooth transitions between points to improve flow.
task achievement
You provided a good overview of the trends in prices over time.
coherence and cohesion
The introduction clearly states what the graph is about.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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