More and more people are becoming seriously overweight. Some people think a solution can be to increase the price of fattening foods. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

The rising levels of obesity have led to a possible solution of increasing the cost of fattening foods in order to diminish
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issue. The writer of
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essay strongly agrees with
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statement as it will abate the consumption of high-calorie food items and give an incentive to healthier products. It is vital to understand that the action of
rising
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raising
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the price tag of junk foods will directly alleviate the utilization of them. In simple terms, when calorie-dense foods become more expensive, consumers with limited budgets will be less likely to afford them.
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, by raising the price of unhealthy dietary choices, people may now start to reconsider their eating habits, leading to more mindful decisions in purchasing healthier alternatives. Another point worth considering is the incentive to choose healthier sustenances.
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, the higher the cost of high-fat food items, the more people will get rid of them.
As a consequence
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, choosing healthier substitutes when the prices correlate between them is now more attractive. Take Mexico as a good example, where the regulation of fat has mitigated the obesity rate in
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country down to stand at 18%, simultaneously enhancing the consumption of healthy dietary choices. In conclusion, the approach to raising the cost of sugary-laden sustenance will be the decisive answer to the phenomenon of obesity as it is going to reduce food consumption
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while
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encouraging people to lead a better lifestyle.

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task achievement
Your introduction states your opinion clearly, but it could be stronger by briefly mentioning why obesity is a problem.
coherence
The body paragraphs are mostly clear but can improve with more linking words to guide the reader through your ideas.
task achievement
Try to provide more specific examples or data to support your points, which can help to strengthen your argument.
task achievement
You clearly expressed your opinion in the introduction and conclusion.
task achievement
You provided a good example of Mexico, which helps to illustrate your point about effective solutions.
coherence
Your point about the impact of price on consumer habits is logical and well made.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • obesity
  • overweight
  • fattening foods
  • calorie-dense
  • healthier food choices
  • taxation
  • economic implications
  • social implications
  • subsidies
  • nutritional education
  • public health campaigns
  • nanny state
  • individual's right
  • consumer behavior
  • preventative measures
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