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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The graph below shows average carbon dioxide (CO2) emissions per person in the United Kingdom, Sweden, Italy and Portugal between 1967 and 2007.

The graph below shows average carbon dioxide (CO2) emissions per person in the United Kingdom, Sweden, Italy and Portugal between 1967 and 2007.
The graph demonstrates the average carbon dioxide (CO2) emissions per person in the United
Kingdom
Use synonyms
,
Sweden
Use synonyms
, Italy and Portugal between 1967 and 2007.
To sum up
Linking Words
,the
overall
Linking Words
 trend of
United
Correct article usage
the United
show examples
Kingdom
Use synonyms
 and
Sweden
Use synonyms
 was down
Linking Words
while
Punctuation problem
, while
show examples
here
Use the right word
there
show examples
 came a fluctuation in
Sweden
Use synonyms
.
By contrast
Linking Words
,the release of Italy and Portugal
rised
Correct your spelling
rose
stably
Rephrase
steadily
show examples
.
However
Linking Words
,
United
Correct article usage
the United
show examples
Kingdom
Use synonyms
 kept on ranking the highest on the per capita emission during the half century. In 1967,
United
Correct article usage
the United
show examples
Kingdom
Use synonyms
let out
Verb problem
emitted
show examples
 the most CO2 of about 11
tones
Use the right word
tons
show examples
 per person, and maintained the figure constantly in the next decade.
Sweden
Use synonyms
,over the period from 1967 to 1977,reached a peak of 10.5
tones
Use the right word
tons
show examples
 in 1970,
while
Linking Words
 Italy and Portugal experienced a considerable
grow
Replace the word
growth
show examples
 of CO2 emissions
about
Punctuation problem
, about
show examples
 2
tones
Use the right word
tons
show examples
 each person at the same time. From 1977 to 1997,
United
Correct article usage
the United
show examples
Kingdom
Use synonyms
 and
Sweden
Use synonyms
 went through a decrease during
this
Linking Words
 20-year period,and the drop was more
sharply
Replace the word
sharp
show examples
 in
Sweden
Use synonyms
,
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
 4.5, than
that
Correct determiner usage
apply
show examples
in
United
Correct article usage
the United
show examples
Kingdom
Use synonyms
,2.Meanwhile,Italy and Portugal still remained on the upward trend.
Then
Linking Words
,
United
Correct article usage
the United
show examples
Kingdom
Use synonyms
 and
Sweden
Use synonyms
 continued to drop about 1
tone
Use the right word
ton
show examples
, Italy and Portugal were
leveling
Change the spelling
levelling
show examples
 out at 7.5 and 5.5
respectively
Punctuation problem
, respectively
show examples
Punctuation problem
, over
show examples
over
Change preposition
from
show examples
 1997 to 2007.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 86%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words kingdom, sweden with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "drop" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 3 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • carbon dioxide emissions
  • per person
  • United Kingdom
  • Sweden
  • Italy
  • Portugal
  • graph
  • compare
  • average
  • increase
  • decrease
  • trend
  • peak
  • decline
  • years
  • period
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