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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph below shows average carbon dioxide (CO2) emissions per person in the United Kingdom, Sweden, Italy and Portugal between 1967 and 2007.

The graph below shows average carbon dioxide (CO2) emissions per person in the United Kingdom, Sweden, Italy and Portugal between 1967 and 2007.
The line chart illustrates
mean
Correct article usage
the mean
show examples
carbon
Use synonyms
dioxide
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emissions
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 per person in four different countries between 1967 and 2007.
Overall
Linking Words
, the average
carbon
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dioxide
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emissions
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 per person in Italy and Portugal follow an upward trend. The mean
carbon
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dioxide
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emissions
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 per person in
United
Correct article usage
the United
show examples
 Kingdom and Sweden follow a downward trend.
According to
Linking Words
 the line chart, the largest
emissions
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 of
carbon
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dioxide
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 were in
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
show examples
 in 1967, about 11 metric
tonnes
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. The
emissions
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 of
carbon
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dioxide
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 for
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
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 slightly decreased from 11 metric
tonnes
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 to 9 metric
tonnes
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 over the period of forty
decades
Check wording
years
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. In 1977, the
carbon
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dioxide
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emissions
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achieved
Verb problem
reached their
show examples
 maximum peak in Sweden, about 11 metric
tonnes
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. The
emissions
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 of
carbon
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dioxide
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 for Sweden significantly declined from 11 metric
tonnes
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 to 5 metric
tonnes
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 from 1977 to 2007. In 1967, 4 metric
tonnes
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Use synonyms
emissions
Change preposition
of emissions
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 in Italy, and it increased to 8 metric
tonnes
Use synonyms
in2007
Correct your spelling
in 2007
. The
emissions
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 of
carbon
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dioxide
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 for Portugal remarkably
increased
Punctuation problem
increased,
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showed
Wrong verb form
showing
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 an increase from 1967 to 2007.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words carbon, dioxide, emissions, tonnes with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • carbon dioxide emissions
  • per person
  • United Kingdom
  • Sweden
  • Italy
  • Portugal
  • graph
  • compare
  • average
  • increase
  • decrease
  • trend
  • peak
  • decline
  • years
  • period
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