Some people think that it is important to use leisure time for activities that improve the mind , such as reading and doing word puzzles . Other people feel that it is important to rest the mind during leisure time . Dicuss two views and give your opinion .

There can be no doubt that the topic of what to do in free
time
Use synonyms
is one which deserves some consideration. It is the view of
this
Linking Words
writer that the evidence is on the side of those who believe leisure
time
Use synonyms
should be for resting, despite some
reservation
Fix the agreement mistake
reservations
show examples
. Those who champion relaxing in free
time
Use synonyms
point to the fact that
people
Use synonyms
need to be mentally stable. As should be self-evident,
people
Use synonyms
are living in a harsh world where work and studies are equally stressful and demanding.
For
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
reason, resting to improve mental state is necessary. One should
also
Linking Words
note that
this
Linking Words
also
Linking Words
rectifies one's mood so as to be ready for upcoming challenges and obstacles. There is a different point of view which holds that leisure
time
Use synonyms
should be for self-improvement because of
continous
Correct your spelling
continuous
thinking. It is beyond a doubt that constantly getting involved in
knowledgable
Correct your spelling
knowledgeable
show examples
activities can help
people
Use synonyms
to be more open-minded. It can
also
Linking Words
be mentioned that with information from books and reliable sources, wisdom thinking can be well-developed.
As a result
Linking Words
, before making any decisions, reconsideration is needed,
therefore
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
leads to fewer consequences.
This
Linking Words
writer supports the former on the grounds that physical health is
similarly
Linking Words
important.
This
Linking Words
is
due to
Linking Words
the fact that the majority have already come
accross
Correct your spelling
across
enough activities from schools and workplaces that requires great mentality, yet lacking
of
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
exercises. Because of
this
Linking Words
, in order to stay healthy,
ones
Replace the word
one
show examples
should be both mentally and physically stable. A clear-cut example of
this
Linking Words
would be students who spend almost a whole day at school for studies, they are craving to play sports and other
benefitial
Correct your spelling
beneficial
physical activities so as to balance out the stress that got from studies.
Thus
Linking Words
it can be seen that continous thinking is outweighed by being both physically and mentally stable.
Therefore
Linking Words
, there is ample evidence
to conclude
Linking Words
that
people
Use synonyms
must prioritise resting.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence and cohesion
Make sure each paragraph clearly supports your main argument and has a clear topic sentence.
task achievement
Use more specific examples to support your points and link your ideas more clearly.
coherence and cohesion
Check your spelling and grammar for better clarity.
task achievement
Your introduction clearly outlines the discussion on the topic.
task achievement
You have a clear opinion, which is important for this type of essay.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example
What to do next:
Look at other essays: