IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 8

The chart below shows the percentage the rtirement age for men and women in various countries .The table shows the life expectancy in each of this countries. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features.Make comparisons where relevent.

The chart below shows the percentage the rtirement age for men and women in various countries .The table shows the life expectancy in each of this countries. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features.Make comparisons where relevent.
The bar charts above illustrate the Average retirement
age
Use synonyms
 of men and women in Denmark,
France
Use synonyms
, Italy, Netherlands,
Sweden
Use synonyms
, UK, between 2004 and 2008.
Overall
Linking Words
,
Sweden
Use synonyms
 had the largest portion of retired mature men and women in 2004 and 2008 ,
while
Linking Words
France
Use synonyms
 had the smallest rate of both male and female retirement
age
Use synonyms
. As can be seen in the first graph, The highest life of
Sweden
Use synonyms
 people who retired in both 2004 and 2008 was in the old
age
Use synonyms
 of 63 and 64, yet the lowest proportion of
age
Use synonyms
 was in
France
Use synonyms
 presented for 58 and 59 years old.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, Italy shared the same
age
Use synonyms
 ( 60 years old )of non-working males in 2004 and 2008.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, The second figure shows that The Majority
age
Use synonyms
 of
without
Change preposition
apply
show examples
working women in
Sweden
Use synonyms
 in the group
age
Use synonyms
 of 63 and 64 in 2004 and 2008.
in contrast
Linking Words
, the minimum life of females that retired was 58 years old in
France
Use synonyms
. In conclusion, both gentleman and gentlewomen retired at almost the same
age
Use synonyms
 in six countries.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Vocabulary: Replace the words age, france, sweden with synonyms.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • retirement age
  • life expectancy
  • percentage
  • countries
  • comparison
  • differences
  • men
  • women
  • trends
  • patterns
  • quality of life
  • economic situation
  • reasons
  • individuals
  • highlight
  • analyze
  • average
  • data
  • chart
  • table
What to do next:
Look at other essays: