IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people think the best way to solve global environmental problems is to increase the cost of fuel. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

It is asserted that the most optional way to overcome
the
Correct article usage
apply
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global environmental challenges is
Change preposition
by rising
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rising
Correct your spelling
raising
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 the price of
fuel
Use synonyms
. In my opinion,
this
Linking Words
 procedure might have some benefits in terms of reducing the carbon footprint and enhancing
air
Use synonyms
quality
Use synonyms
 across the world
due to
Linking Words
 the shift to
the
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apply
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alternative
energy
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 resources.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, it is important to note that exhaust fume is only one indicator that affects
environment
Add an article
the environment
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, the policies to
recude
Correct your spelling
reduce
 it will not have
thorough
Correct article usage
a thorough
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 effect merely.
In addition
Linking Words
, there is a risk that rich
people
Use synonyms
 may not change their habits of using
fuel
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.
Fuel
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 is the most widespread
energy
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 resource, which
people
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 have been using for many centuries. Though coal usage was more common in the past, since
19th
Correct article usage
the 19th
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 century it has been replaced by oil, which both have negative effects on nature.
Due to
Linking Words
 their excessive and uncontrolled utilization in personal life and various industries, not only humanity
,
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apply
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 but
also
Linking Words
 all other living creatures are facing
destuctive
Correct your spelling
destructive
 consequences.
Therefore
Linking Words
, making the
fuel
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 uncommon and unreachable merchandise by increasing its cost, will push economies to find alternative and more sustainable
energy
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 resources.
As a result
Linking Words
, the carbon footprint will be lessened and
air
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quality
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 in
megalapolises
Correct your spelling
megalopolises
 will become better.
For example
Linking Words
, if the cost of gas is increased in Azerbaijan, citizens will tend to purchase hybrid or electric cars and will be
depended
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dependent
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 on cheaper electric
energy
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, which will result in
the
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apply
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better
air
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quality
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 in the city.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, considering the
facts
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fact
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 that
fuel
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 is not the mere indicator that has negative impacts on nature and better-off
people
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 can afford
using
Change the verb form
to use
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fuel
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 regardless of its price,
this
Linking Words
 policy may not be so
effectice
Correct your spelling
effective
. Individuals on the top ladder of
the
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society are usually reluctant about others' needs and worldwide problems.
Therefore
Linking Words
, they may not even notice the change in the cost of
fuel
Use synonyms
. In conclusion, though some
people
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 claim that the best option to tackle
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
global environmental problems is increased
fuel
Use synonyms
 costs because it can decrease the carbon footprint and improve
air
Use synonyms
quality
Use synonyms
, in my
opinion
Add the comma(s)
opinion,
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 it is necessary to acknowledge that exhaust
fume
Fix the agreement mistake
fumes
show examples
does
Correct subject-verb agreement
do
show examples
 not affect nature negatively by itself, and if other indicators will not be removed, the policies may not work in the long term.

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coherence and cohesion
Make sure each paragraph has a clear main idea and connects well to the next. Use linking words to guide the reader through your argument.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples and details to support your arguments clearly. This will help the reader understand your point better.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure your introduction states clearly what you will discuss, and your conclusion should summarize your main points well.
task achievement
You have shown a clear opinion on the topic and explained your ideas fairly well.
task achievement
The use of some specific examples is good because it helps to illustrate your points.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • consumption
  • emissions
  • alternative energy
  • conservation
  • mitigate
  • renewable energy technologies
  • affordability
  • collective action
  • innovation in energy efficiency
  • global cooperation
  • environmental measures
  • pollution
  • economic disparity
  • revenue
  • sustainable development
  • environmental sustainability
What to do next:
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