Some people say that the Olympic Games no longer have a role to play in the 21st century. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Currently, the
existanceof
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existence
the
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of the
show examples
OlympicGamesis
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Olympic Games is
a widely debated topic.
Althoughsome
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Although some
peoplebelieve that it is money-exhausting,
thiswriter
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this writer
agrees that it
providethehistorical
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provides the historical
value and
strengthenthedomestic
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strengthens the domestic
tourism. It must be recognised that the
OlympicGamescontain
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Olympic Games contain
a great value of history. To
beginwith
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begin with
, the first game started in theacienttimeand thencontinuingcelebrating
untillnow
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until now
which can prove
forits
Correct your spelling
its
quality.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, the OlympicGamescan
alsoremind
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also remind
peopleforthe
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people for the
nation's history,
suchas
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such as
Chinese tradition or France culture.
As a result
Linking Words
, by starting the
OlympicGames
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Olympic Games
, the owner country not only can help
peopleall
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people all
over the world to understand
aboutits
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its
national history, but
alsopopularize
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also popularise
it
to
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with
show examples
others in the world.
Therefore
Linking Words
, it
is playing
Wrong verb form
plays
show examples
a significant role in maintaining the national
historyand
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history and
culture. Another pivotal factor is OlympicGamesalsosupport
thetourismdeveloping
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the tourism developing
.
Thisis
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This is
because
whilethe
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while the
country is holding the
Olympicevents
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Olympic events
, there will be several tourists
comeand
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come and
command
therefore
Linking Words
, make it easier for the
governmentto
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government to
enhance the
tourismby
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tourism by
increasing the ticket price or the cost of the traditional cuisine.
For instance
Linking Words
, France had applied the strategy of upgrading the membership to all of the visitors who came to sign in the
OlympicGamesfor
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Olympic Games for
many days, which
leadingto
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leading to
the result of
plethoraof
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plethora of
peoplewereable
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people were able
to go to France to enjoy it.
However
Linking Words
, some others think that the
OlympicGamesisexhausting
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Olympic Games is exhausting
money.
Thisbelief
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This belief
is based on the fact that there are
existedseveral
Correct your spelling
existed several
things
neededto
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needed to
be spent
moneyfor
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money for
, like
theinfrastructure
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the infrastructure
infrastructure
or
thehealth
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health
care, so too much
moneyon
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money on
an entertainment aspect likeOlympicGamesis useless and the
governmentshould
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government should
avoid
Correct subject-verb agreement
avoids
show examples
it. They are right
inan
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in an
extent, but by developing the
OlympicGames
Correct your spelling
Olympic Games
, the
governmentwill
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government will
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
money, especially from
thetourism
Correct your spelling
the tourism
, to spend
Change preposition
on forthepriorities
show examples
forthepriorities
Correct your spelling
for the priorities
and
othersthings
Correct your spelling
other things
others things
so that
thisconcern
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this concern
is
beingsolved
Correct your spelling
being solved
easily.
Thus
Linking Words
, the
OlympicGamesishelping
Correct your spelling
Olympic Games is helping
the
governmentto
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government to
enhance the country's platform. In conclusion,
althoughbeing
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although being
thought of
causingmoney-exhaustion
Correct your spelling
causing money-exhaustion
, The OlympicGamesare still beneficial and have
aimportant
Correct your spelling
an important
role to play in nowadays society due
tothe
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to the
historical quality and
enhancingthe
Correct your spelling
enhancing the
enhancing
national tourism. If it were
befocused
Correct your spelling
be focused
focused
more
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
the future, the national economy would be increased, especially the
tourismincome
Correct your spelling
tourism income
.

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task achievement
Your introduction is clear, but it could be stronger by stating your main points clearly.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure your paragraphs have clear topic sentences to help the reader follow your ideas better.
coherence and cohesion
Try to use more variety in your sentence structure and vocabulary.
task achievement
Ensure that your conclusion summarizes your main points more effectively and directly relates back to the question.
task achievement
You present your main ideas well, linking history and tourism to the Olympic Games.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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