It has been proved that smoking kills. In some countries it has been made illegal for people to smoke in public places except in certain areas. All countries should make these rules. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

There is an ongoing trend that governments are implementing the policy which
aims
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aim
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to prohibit smoking in public areas, though
people
Use synonyms
can
smoke
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only in certain spaces. The main reason behind
this
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trend is because it has been proved that smoking
behaviours
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kill
people
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or have considerable negative effects on others' health.
Hence
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, in
this
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essay, I will explain why I strongly support
this
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governmental practice.
To begin
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with, one of the most significant reasons is
side
Correct article usage
the side
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effects brought by smoking.
For instance
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, in Japan, the substances, which are included in the
smoke
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generated by someone's smoking behaviour,
became
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become
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notable
due to
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serious impacts on
people
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who are around
the
Correct article usage
apply
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smokers
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, nowadays. In detail, just by being around
people
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smoking, non-
smokers
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also
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intake those harmful elements, and their health conditions are exacerbated
as a result
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even though they do not directly
smoke
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the
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apply
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cigarettes.
Moreover
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, it has
also
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been indicated that the extent of dangerous impacts brought by smoking is remarkably higher for non-
smokers
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compared to that for ordinary
smokers
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.
Therefore
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, limiting the areas where
people
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can
smoke
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is essential for the entire society.
On the other hand
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, some
people
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counterargue
this
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empirical evidence as that every person has the right to behave as they wish. Certainly,
the
Correct article usage
apply
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physical
freedom
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is clearly mentioned in the Japanese constitution, and the right which is supported by the most basic rule should be respected by every citizen. Meanwhile, it is
also
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true that
that
Correct determiner usage
the
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Japanese constitution
also
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noted that
people
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can enjoy their own
freedom
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as long as their
behaviours
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do not harm other
people
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.
However
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, if
smokers
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smoke
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in public spaces where juveniles are usually playing with their friends and if their health conditions
are worsened
Wrong verb form
worsen
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,
smokers
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'
behaviours
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obviously disturb the rights of children to stay healthy.
Thus
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, regulating the places where
people
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can
smoke
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is important in every country because younger children and
people
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who do not
smoke
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are existing
Wrong verb form
exist
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everywhere. In conclusion,
although
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some
people
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suppose that the right
of smoking
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to smoke
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is protected by official laws, if those
behaviours
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prevent others from enjoying their own
freedom
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,
smokers
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'
freedom
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needs to be limited.
Moreover
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, the group of non-
smokers
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exists in every country.
For
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this
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reason, I completely agree with the statement that all countries should implement the rule that
people
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cannot
smoke
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in public areas.

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task achievement
The essay presents a clear argument in favor of banning smoking in public places, which directly addresses the task. However, adding more specific examples or statistics could strengthen your argument and provide a clearer response.
coherence and cohesion
Your introduction is clear, but the conclusion could be more impactful by summarizing the key points more clearly. Make sure each paragraph flows into the next with better transitions to improve coherence.
content
You clearly explain the health risks of smoking and its impact on non-smokers, which effectively supports your argument.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

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