IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

In some countries, university students live away from home and in another city while studying. Do you think the disadvantages outweigh the advantages of living in another city?

In some nations, it is widely believed that to study
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 university,
students
Use synonyms
 should travel to
another cities
Replace the adjective
another city
other cities
show examples
.
While
Linking Words
 some encourage
this
Linking Words
 trend, as it can develop and shape
students
Use synonyms
' personalities, others believe that
traveling
Change the spelling
travelling
show examples
 abroad may pressure
students
Use synonyms
 until they fail.
This
Linking Words
 essay will discuss both viewpoints before presenting my position. On the one hand, studying in another city can be considered beneficial for
students
Use synonyms
 who seek to build character.
For example
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, living alone can help them deal with
life
Use synonyms
's difficulties without relying on their family members.
This
Linking Words
 shows that
students
Use synonyms
 may develop their sense of responsibility and improve their problem-solving skills.
On the other hand
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, without parental
monitring
Correct your spelling
monitoring
 some
students
Use synonyms
' academic
record
Fix the agreement mistake
records
show examples
 can be
effected
Correct your spelling
affected
show examples
 as they have been guided all their
Use synonyms
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
 and
this
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 new experience may
seems
Change the verb form
seem
show examples
 challenging, which can influence them to drop study in some cases. A good example of
this
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 can be seen
by
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the growing
numbers
Fix the agreement mistake
number
show examples
 of
students
Use synonyms
 who
faild
Correct your spelling
fail
 to achieve high grades after
traveling
Change the spelling
travelling
show examples
 abroad.
As a result
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,
such
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 marks can damage their
self confidence
Add a hyphen
self-confidence
show examples
 resulting
to drop
Change preposition
in dropping
show examples
university
Change preposition
out of university
show examples
. In conclusion, I firmly believe that studying abroad may become an alter opportunity for
students
Use synonyms
 to navigate their own way in
life
Use synonyms
due to
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 the massive experience and knowledge that will be provided by
such
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 experience.
Therefore
Linking Words
, I suggest that families should motivate
students
Use synonyms
to begin
Linking Words
 their university
life
Use synonyms
 in
Correct article usage
a remot
show examples
remot
Correct your spelling
remote
 city.

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task achievement
Make sure your introduction clearly states your opinion and summarizes the main points you're going to discuss.
coherence and cohesion
Try to connect your ideas better. Use linking words like 'firstly', 'furthermore', and 'in addition' to make the flow smoother.
coherence and cohesion
Check for spelling mistakes. For example, 'monitring' should be 'monitoring', and 'faild' should be 'failed'.
task achievement
Add specific examples to support your points. For instance, mention specific skills students can learn by living alone.
task achievement
You present both sides of the argument well, which shows a good understanding of the topic.
coherence and cohesion
Your conclusion succinctly restates your viewpoint, showing the reader what you believe.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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