IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

With the wide use of computers and the Internet, people can study and work from home without going to school or company. Do the advantages outweigh its disadvantages?

is true that owing
the
Change preposition
to the
show examples
uses
Fix the agreement mistake
use
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 of
Add an article
the
show examples
internet,
masses
Correct article usage
the masses
show examples
 can study in their house without going out.
while
Linking Words
 there are certain underlying disadvantages associated with
this
Linking Words
 trend, the
advantageous
Replace the word
advantages
show examples
 are going to be
way
Use synonyms
 more potent. Regards disadvantages, less social bonding can be the main
issueby
Correct your spelling
issue by
 doing study online. By having limited interaction with
school-mates
Correct your spelling
schoolmates
show examples
, pupils may
unable
Add a missing verb
be unable
show examples
 to share their emotions
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
 an effective
way
Use synonyms
,
as
Correct word choice
and as
show examples
 a
results
Correct the article-noun agreement
result
show examples
, they become unsocialized
..
Replace the punctuation
.
...
show examples
 The second demerit
may be
Correct your spelling
maybe
show examples
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
that
this
Linking Words
 online learning
way
Use synonyms
 would halt the holistic development of folk. when student learn from
computer
Fix the agreement mistake
computers
show examples
instead
Linking Words
 of books,
then
Linking Words
 their eyesight
would
Wrong verb form
will
show examples
 suffer a lot. There have been multiple instances that have proved that most of the new generation have low eye-sight and the prime reason behind it is the use of
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
 in excess. Regards advantages, it paves the
way
Use synonyms
 towards
to save
Change the verb form
saving
show examples
learner's
Fix the agreement mistake
learners'
show examples
time
Use synonyms
. Going to school or college takes some
time
Use synonyms
 either go
hy
Correct your spelling
by
 bus or car;
however
Linking Words
, When kids do study over
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 phone, it reduces the
time
Use synonyms
 period,
as
Correct word choice
and as
show examples
 a
consequences
Correct the article-noun agreement
consequence
show examples
, they can able to do other activities in that
time
Use synonyms
 frame.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
by
Change preposition
in
show examples
this
Linking Words
way
Use synonyms
, an individual can spend more
time
Use synonyms
 with their family. Since
while
Linking Words
 learning kids can talk with their family and do much more things, which may not be possible if they go to school, it helps to strengthen their family bond. From my own experience, during
covid-19
Correct your spelling
COVID-19
show examples
, when I studied online, I did many other things with my family,
thus
Linking Words
 I
become
Wrong verb form
became
show examples
more
Change the word
apply
show examples
closer to my parents. In conclusion, despite having
detrimental
Add an article
a detrimental
show examples
 effect on
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
social bonding and
eye-sights
Fix the agreement mistake
eye-sight
show examples
,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 think studying online
posses
Wrong verb form
possesses
show examples
 twofold advantages: saving
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
time
Use synonyms
 and increasing family Bonding.

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task achievement
Make sure your main points are clear and supported with specific examples or details. This will help with clarity and make your arguments stronger.
coherence and cohesion
Try to improve the flow of your ideas by using linking words and phrases to connect your sentences and paragraphs. This can make your writing easier to follow.
grammar
Pay attention to grammar and spelling, as mistakes can distract from your message. Review your work for common errors and try to improve your sentence structures.
structure
You have a good structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. This helps the reader to follow your ideas.
example
You provided personal experience to support your points, which adds depth to your argument.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • flexibility
  • productivity
  • work-life balance
  • cost savings
  • overhead costs
  • digital resources
  • online courses
  • commuting
  • physical barriers
  • stress reduction
  • remote work
  • virtual environment
  • self-paced learning
  • accessibility
  • distraction-free
  • autonomy
  • collaboration tools
  • time management
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