IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The pie chart gives information on UAE government spending in 2000. The total budget was AED 315 billion.

The pie chart gives information on UAE government spending in 2000. The total budget was AED 315 billion.
The pie chart represents the amount of UAE government expenditures in the year 2000 in ten different sectors with
total
Add an article
a total
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 budget of 315
billion
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. It is clear from the graph that the authorities spent the highest amount
in
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on
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 social security,
whereas
Linking Words
 the
lowes
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lowest
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 cost was on transportation. The United Arab
of
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apply
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Emirates has spent 22
billion
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 on defence
department
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departments
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,
while
Linking Words
 53
billion
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 on health and personal social services which can be considered almost
the
Correct article usage
apply
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double
of
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apply
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the defence number. Another sparked point,
Add a missing verb
is the
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the
Correct determiner usage
that
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 social security has received the highest amount of money with 100
billion
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,
in contrast
Linking Words
 to the transport department which is 9
billion
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.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the UAE was spending in the year 2000 in
dept
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debt
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inerest
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interest
 and other expenditures
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at the
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the
Correct article usage
an
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 equal cost
at
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of
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 23 AED
billion
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. In terms of education, it was ranked in the third level from the top of expenditures at 38 AED
billion
Use synonyms
.

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Basic structure: Use less body paragraphs.
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Change the fifth paragraph.
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Basic structure: Change the sixth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words billion with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fifth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the sixth paragraph.
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