IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some cities create housing areas by providing taller buildings. Others create housing by building houses on a wider area of land. What solution is better?

There is no denying the fact that living in the right home in a perfect community is a significant concern for worldwide families.
While
Linking Words
 it is a commonly held belief that taller
bulding
Correct your spelling
buildings
 in the housing areas in good, there is
also
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 an argument that building homes
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 a larger area is the best. In
this
Linking Words
essay
Add a comma
essay,
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 I will give my opinion and give reasons why. In my point of view, households built on a wider land
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 considered useful for many aspects.
To begin
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 with, constructing
houses
Use synonyms
 in
this
Linking Words
 design provides convenience and
more
Correct article usage
a more
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luxury
Replace the word
luxurious
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 environment for the families which
enhance
Correct subject-verb agreement
enhances
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 their quality of life as what we experienced
from
Change preposition
during
show examples
COVID-19
Correct article usage
the COVID-19
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 pandemic: getting
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
fresh air and being exposed to the sun on a daily basis is crucial.
For example
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, there is enough space for children to play in the backyard
in addition
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 to a front door garden.
Furthermore
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, living in a villa neighbourhood
provids
Correct your spelling
provides
 more privacy as sounds do not pass between the inner walls
such
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 as between departments and no one will complain
from
Change preposition
about
show examples
 loud noises. Another point to consider, in larger
houses
Use synonyms
, residents will be able to store their stuff.
For instance
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, storing a bicycle. It is
also
Linking Words
 possible to say that,
houses
Use synonyms
 built on a wider area allow large family members to live together. To illustrate, parents with their kids and
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
grandparents can live in the same house. In conclusion, despite people having different views, I believe that living in
houses
Use synonyms
 built
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 a big area is significantly better.

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Task Response
Your introduction needs more clear outline of your main points. State your opinion clearly and mention what you'll discuss in the body.
Coherence and Cohesion
Make sure each paragraph has a clear topic sentence. This helps the reader understand the main idea of the paragraph.
Task Response
Try to give more detailed examples to support your ideas. This makes your argument stronger and more convincing.
Coherence and Cohesion
Watch for spelling mistakes, like 'bulding' and 'provids'. These can affect how your essay is seen.
Task Achievement
You clearly state your opinion about the benefits of wider houses.
Task Achievement
You provide reasons to support your choice, such as more privacy and space for family.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • urban density
  • sustainability
  • public transportation
  • green spaces
  • community connections
  • overcrowding
  • economic implications
  • infrastructure impact
  • maintenance costs
  • carbon footprint
  • compact city
  • habitat destruction
  • greenhouse gas emissions
What to do next:
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