IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

In the future all cars, buses and trucks will be driverless. The only people travelling inside these vehicles will be passengers. Do you think the advantages of driverless vehicles outweigh the disadvantages?n?

In today's world, the government
investing
Wrong verb form
invests
show examples
money
Use synonyms
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the art community. Some people believe that spending
money
Use synonyms
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
 things like drawing
doesn't
Verb problem
isn't
show examples
worth
Correct word choice
worthwhile
show examples
while
Linking Words
 others argue that, we need to put
money
Use synonyms
to
Change preposition
into
show examples
 other aspects.
This
Linking Words
 essay will discuss both sides and give my opinion. In today's world, the government
investing
Wrong verb form
invests
show examples
money
Use synonyms
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the art community. Some people believe that spending
money
Use synonyms
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
 things like drawing
doesn't
Verb problem
isn't
show examples
worth
Correct word choice
worthwhile
show examples
while
Linking Words
 others argue that, we need to put
money
Use synonyms
to
Change preposition
into
show examples
 other aspects.
This
Linking Words
 essay will discuss both sides and give my opinion.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Your essay lacks clear supporting points. Make sure to include examples to support your ideas.
coherence and cohesion
Try to improve the flow of your essay. Use linking words such as 'firstly', 'secondly', and 'finally'.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure your introduction is clear. Rephrase your question better and make your opinion clear from the start.
task achievement
You identified a relevant topic and presented both sides of the argument, which is good.
coherence and cohesion
Your intention to give an opinion is clear, which is a positive aspect.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: