IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

Some people believe that protecting the environment is the government's responsibility. Others believe that every individual should be responsible for it. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some
individuals
Use synonyms
 believe that
safeguading
Correct your spelling
safeguarding
 the
enviornment
Correct your spelling
environment
 is the obligation of authorities
while
Linking Words
other
Fix the agreement mistake
others
show examples
 think that each person
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
ought to be accountable for it.
This
Linking Words
 essay will discuss both the views and will give my
opinon
Correct your spelling
opinion
 in the end. On the one hand, the government has the power to make laws and regulations to protect the
enviornment
Correct your spelling
environment
.
For example
Linking Words
 , they can control and set rules for companies to follow.In addition ,programs created by officials can help protect nature, like creating parks and nature reserves. These areas preserve wildlife and provide clean air and water.
Moreover
Linking Words
,funding from the government can be used for clean energy projects ,
such
Linking Words
 as wind or solar power,which help reduce pollution and climate change.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, an individual plays a crucial role in protecting the
envirnment
Correct your spelling
environment
.Simple actions like recycling ,using less plastic , or saving water can make a big difference.
Linking Words
Also
Add a comma
Also,
show examples
individuals
Use synonyms
 can raise awareness about the
envornment
Correct your spelling
environment
 issues.By educating others, they can inspire others to take action to reduce
this
Linking Words
pehenomenin
Correct your spelling
phenomenon
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, when people make the eco-friendly it makes a
realy
Correct your spelling
really
 big
differenc
Correct your spelling
difference
 in the
surrounding
Fix the agreement mistake
surroundings
show examples
 by using the public
trasnport
Correct your spelling
transport
 creates less
polluiton
Correct your spelling
pollution
overall
Linking Words
. In
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
conclusion, it is always argued
that
Correct word choice
whether
show examples
weither
Correct your spelling
the
 environment is the obligation of
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
 or the
individuals
Use synonyms
.But
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 firmly believe that both should equally play their roles as
athorties
Correct your spelling
authorities
 by posing laws and
individuals
Use synonyms
 by
thinnking
Correct your spelling
thinking
its
Replace the word
it's
it is
show examples
 their
resposniblity aslo
Correct your spelling
responsibility also
 as
this
Linking Words
 is the
enviornment
Correct your spelling
environment
 they have to live in the future.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

language
Make sure to check for spelling mistakes, like 'safeguarding' and 'environment'.
coherence
Try to use link words like 'firstly', 'secondly', and 'finally' to make your points clearer.
task achievement
Provide more personal opinion or examples to support your ideas in the conclusion.
task achievement
Good effort in discussing different perspectives on environmental responsibility.
coherence
You have a clear introduction and conclusion structure.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • government
  • responsibility
  • protect
  • environment
  • laws
  • regulations
  • pollution
  • companies
  • programs
  • nature
  • reserves
  • wildlife
  • clean
  • energy
  • projects
  • reduce
  • climate
  • change
  • individuals
  • actions
  • recycling
  • plastic
  • water
  • difference
  • awareness
  • issues
  • educating
  • inspire
  • choices
  • public
  • transport
  • carbon
  • footprint
  • global
  • warming
What to do next:
Look at other essays: