IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

With an increasing population communicating via the internet and text messaging, face to face communication will become a thing of the past. To what extent do you agree with this opinion? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

In
this
Linking Words
 technical world, everyone tries to talk with each other by text message and the internet.
This
Linking Words
 trend will decrease face-to-face conversation to some extent. I
am partially agree
Change the verb form
partially agree
show examples
 with the given statement and will disclose my viewpoints
along with
Linking Words
 examples in the upcoming paragraphs. To commence with, most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 are living in fast-paced life they want to achieve success as soon as possible.
In other words
Linking Words
, They do double shifts and spend their spare
time
Use synonyms
 in libraries and in front of computers to learn new things. Masses prefer to talk with their nears and dears in breaks and
while
Linking Words
 doing travel. Do not like to waste precious
time
Use synonyms
.
For instance
Linking Words
, The British newspaper had a conducted survey in 2024. A report showed that 70% of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 use the
internet
Capitalize word
Internet
show examples
for communicating
Change preposition
to communicate
show examples
 with their relatives just on weekends.
Hence
Linking Words
, technical appliances would gain a first position in
an
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 upcoming years rather than visit others. On the flip side, the population makes efforts to directly
touch
Change preposition
in touch
show examples
 with loved ones
instaed
Correct your spelling
instead
 of online
plateforms
Correct your spelling
platforms
. To clarify, many
people
Use synonyms
 made no phone policy on weekends in their homes. They use the phone just to answer urgent calls
otherwise
Linking Words
 do family together on holidays. It is a vital step to avoid the internet and spend
time
Use synonyms
 with their loved ones. For
examplify
Correct your spelling
example
, the
hindustan
Change the capitalization
Hindustan
show examples
 timelines newspaper showed that
this
Linking Words
 policy gives the best result
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
make
Verb problem
bringing
show examples
family
Fix the agreement mistake
families
show examples
 together.
To conclude
Linking Words
, nowadays, online
network
Fix the agreement mistake
networks
show examples
 is a pocket friendly
Linking Words
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 is why it is very popular among
people
Use synonyms
. But it cannot be overcome the face-to-face communication because some individual are still connected with their roots and love to visit their family when get
time
Use synonyms
.

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Task Achievement
Your introduction should clearly state your opinion more directly to strengthen your argument. It would help to simplify this part to make it clearer.
Coherence and Cohesion
Make sure to connect your ideas more logically between paragraphs. Using linking words will help readers follow your thoughts better.
Task Achievement
Try to provide clearer examples that are easier to understand. Instead of only mentioning reports or surveys, give more personal examples if possible to support your points.
Coherence and Cohesion
You have made a good attempt to present both sides of the argument.
Task Achievement
Your effort to provide examples shows an understanding of how to support your opinions.
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