IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph below shows the average monthly change in the prices of three metals during 2014.

The graph below shows the average monthly change in the prices of three metals during 2014.
The line chart illustrates the figure for the price of three
minetrals
Correct your spelling
minerals
,
copper
Use synonyms
,
iickel
Correct your spelling
nickel
,and
zinc
Use synonyms
 changed per month in the year
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
2014.
it is clear that
Linking Words
 the value of nickel
experience
Wrong verb form
experienced
show examples
Correct article usage
a significantly
show examples
significantly descend
Replace the word
significant descent
show examples
 over the 12 months of 2014,
while
Linking Words
other
Correct article usage
the other
show examples
 two metals, which is
copper
Use synonyms
 and
zinc
Use synonyms
 fluctuated slightly
at
Change preposition
during
show examples
 the same period. It is
clearly
Change the word
clear
show examples
 to see all three metals experienced price declines in the first
half year
Add a hyphen
half-year
show examples
 and reached the bottom in
June
Use synonyms
. Nickel, which ranked first at 6%
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the
fist
Correct your spelling
first
show examples
 month of 2014, fell sharply to -3% in
June
Use synonyms
, ranking
last
Linking Words
. As we can see even
Zinc
Use synonyms
 rose from 1% to 3% in January,but it had dramatically showed
a
Change the article
an
show examples
abovious
Correct your spelling
obvious
laborious
 downward tendency
staring
Correct your spelling
starting
show examples
 with
Feburary
Correct your spelling
February
while
Linking Words
 falling down to -1% in
June
Use synonyms
. Among
copper
Use synonyms
, and
nickle
Correct your spelling
nickel
 it had kept
decrecing
Correct your spelling
decreasing
, but compared with
copper
Use synonyms
,the dropping rate of
nickle
Correct your spelling
nickel
 was
more
Change the word
apply
show examples
smoother ,
overall
Linking Words
 around -0.5% in
June
Use synonyms
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, from July to
Septeber
Correct your spelling
September
, The price change ratio for the three
mateials
Correct your spelling
materials
 remained unchanged from July to September. After a slight decrease in October, they all resumed their upward trend in November.
Zinc
Use synonyms
 and
copper
Use synonyms
 kept increasing until December.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words copper, zinc, june with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "changed" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "fell" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "slightly" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • average monthly change
  • prices of metals
  • trend
  • spike
  • fluctuation
  • increase
  • decrease
  • sharp rise
  • sharp fall
  • stability
  • volatility
  • data points
  • comparison
  • contrast
  • external factors
  • influences
  • market dynamics
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