Some people say that no one should work after the age of 65years,others say that they should continue the work as long as they want.Discuss both views and give your opinion.

There is a growing belief that grandparents should not have careers after they reach 65,

while

Linking Words

others think that these old humans must have the right to proceed with working.

While

Linking Words

old men cannot be productive when they get older, It is vital for them to pay the bills and other financial responsibilities.

This

Linking Words

essay will not only elaborate on both views but it will

also

Linking Words

provide my perspective.

Initially

Linking Words

, elderly men do not have the ability to work effectively. To clarify, when males get older, not only

their

Add a missing verb

do their

show examples

movement become harder but

also

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they face health problems.

Hence

Linking Words

, they cannot commute to work every day.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, in the workplace, a grandfather is not capable of focusing for a long time

due to

Linking Words

health issues because of his age.

For instance

Linking Words

According to

Linking Words

the Ministry of Jobs in Japan, 62% of grandfathers cannot concentrate for more than 3 hours.

As a result

Linking Words

, they are not able to be productive like young boys.

However

Linking Words

, old dads usually have bills and unpaid loans that need to be paid.

In other words

Linking Words

, it is crucial for

this

Linking Words

group to continue working, so they can redeem all these loans.

Moreover

Linking Words

, the vast majority of them have to purchase medicine, how are they going to buy them if they don't have jobs

Change the punctuation

show examples

For example

Linking Words

, the manager of London Bank said that 53% of the people who lived long on

this

Linking Words

planet

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

are obligated to spend their money and finish their debts.

Therefore

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, it is vital for

this

Linking Words

kind of mankind to work as long as they desire. From my standpoint, individuals who are over sixty-five should proceed

functioning

Change the verb form

to function

show examples

to take care of themselves.

To sum up

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, the age factor has been playing a pivotal role in lowering the productivity level

for

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show examples

elderly fathers.

Nevertheless

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, many of them should spend cash to have medical treatment and

this

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cannot be done unless they keep working in their firms.

abdullahalraddadi1Thu Jun 12 2025

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task achievement

Make sure to clearly state both views in the introduction and provide a balanced discussion on each side.

coherence and cohesion

Try to use clearer linking words to connect ideas, and ensure each paragraph has a clear main idea.

task achievement

Add more specific examples and details to support your points.

task achievement

You clearly present both views, which is a good approach to discussing the topic.

coherence and cohesion

Your essay has a good structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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17
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

321 words

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Some people say that no one should work after the age of 65years,others say that they should continue the work as long as they want.Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

1.You have joined a new job recently. Write to your friend about your new job. In your letter •describe the reason for quitting the previous job •show your excitement for a new job and other details •say about your salary package

some people think that public libraries are no longer necessary, while others believe that public libraries still perform useful functions.Discuss both views and give your opinion.

In some countries, there has been an increase in the number of parents who are choosing to educate their childen themselves at home instead of sending them to school. Do the advantages of home education outweigh the disadvantages?