Some people believe that academic qualifications are essential for success, while others think practical skills are more important. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

It is a commonly held belief that milestones can be only attained academically
whereas
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others argue that soft and hands-on skills are more necessary. In my view, I consider a combination of both to be a prerequisite for success. On one hand, several occupations
such
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as doctors, engineers, and space scientists are highly appreciated in all communities.
This
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is primarily
due to
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the fact that achievements in research and development are later attributed to the country.
Thus
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, populations are striving to contribute to the incremental advances secured in various areas to help nations progress and flourish. An example of
this
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is the oil industry in Saudi Arabia. Around 1960, the first well was discovered by an American team who reaped most of the profits. Later, the government invested in the education of its youth.
As a result
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, Saudi Arabia became the leading exporter of hydrocarbon materials worldwide and its state-owned education establishment, the King Fahad University for Petroleum Studies (KFUPM), has been a prominent learning destination for the entire globe.
However
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, would practical skills surpass the significance of academic certificates? A narrow segment of society has been brought up on the ideology that reliable jobs with high salaries entail a better quality of living.
Therefore
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, many households would send their sons and daughters to top-notch universities to earn an education and work
a
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in a
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corporate environment. Despite that success can be defined by
such
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an approach, today’s world is filled with a myriad of opportunities that cannot be secured without emotional intelligence and work experience. To illustrate, a financial-majored entrepreneur who started a new startup in the banking industry would need connections to grow his or her business.
Thus
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, earning knowledge in one field from a respected establishment will not help those beginners to be recognized as top-notch in their sectors. In conclusion, academic qualifications
as well as
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practical skills are necessary and fundamental for every success. They both serve a certain function in life and no one approach can be sufficient to reap all benefits.

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Task Response
Make sure your introduction clearly states your opinion. It can be stronger by stating that both academic qualifications and practical skills are important for success in a clear way.
Coherence and Cohesion
Improve the structure by making sure each paragraph has a clear main idea. You sometimes mix points in the same paragraph.
Task Response
Add more specific big ideas in each paragraph to support your points better. This will help your reader understand your views more deeply.
Task Response
You present both sides of the argument well and give good examples like the case of Saudi Arabia.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your writing has a good flow and the ideas connect well, which helps readers follow your points easily.
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