IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people think that there should be some strict controls about noise. Others think that they could just make as much noise as they want. Dicuss both views and give your opinion.

The issue of
noise
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 continues to generate debate, with
opinion
Fix the agreement mistake
opinions
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 sharply divided. Some
people
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 argue that
noise
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 should be
under
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apply
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controlled by some rules.
While
Linking Words
other
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with other
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 content
that
Correct word choice
apply
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there should not be any limitations. I align myself with the former view as I believe that peace and silence
plays
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play
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 crucial
role
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roles
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. The essay will examine both sides of the argument before representing my own view . On the one hand , some individuals believe that there should be a few strict controls
about
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on
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noise
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 because it is contributing
in
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to
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the
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apply
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noise
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 pollution.
People
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 would prefer peace and calmness in their lives which will help them to lead
a
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an
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 ecstatic life as they can concentrate more and feel less distractions
of
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from
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 their surroundings .
Moreover
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, they have
liberty
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the liberty
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 to choose their own comfort zone and the rights have been given by the Constitution of their country .
For instance
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, as per the report, honking is not allowed on the roads if someone
honk
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honks
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 they would
have faced
Wrong verb form
face
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 detrimental consequences in the form of
penalty
Correct article usage
a penalty
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.
On the other hand
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 , some masses think that making
a
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apply
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noise
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 is not a big deal for them . In
this
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 digital era, they are working under stressful conditions for long hours . When they have free time they opt
go
Add the particle
to go
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 to
the
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apply
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clubs and pubs with their friends to enjoy leisure time where they listen to loud music which
lift
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lifts
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 up their moods and exhilarates their enthusiasm
as a result
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, they become ready to handle their jobs with positive energy .
For instance
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, to deal with depression and anxiety, music
work
Correct subject-verb agreement
works
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 effectively as per the experts .
To conclude
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, I believe that
people
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 can make a
noise
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 but they should consider others privacy as their top priority. The government should implement rules to reduce
noise
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 pollution by taking some actions
thus
Linking Words
people
Use synonyms
 can focus on their lives and attract prosperity.

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task achievement
Your introduction clearly states your opinion and the plan for the essay. However, it could be more concise. Try to make it clearer and to the point.
coherence cohesion
The main points need better linking. Use more transition words to guide the reader through your arguments. This will improve the flow of your essay.
task achievement
Add a few more specific examples or explanations to support each argument. This will make your points stronger and help readers understand your ideas better.
task achievement
You present both sides of the argument, which shows a good understanding of the topic and makes your essay balanced.
task achievement
Your ideas are relevant and mostly clear. The argument about noise being linked to mental health is a good point.
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