These days, many actors and sports persons are highly paid as compared to other professionals. Many people think that they do not deserve the whopping income. Do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

There is no gainsaying the fact that in the contemporary era, many
celebrities
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of the celluloid world and
sports
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arena earn more
money
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as against
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than
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other professionals like teachers,
doctor
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doctors
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and
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apply
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etcetera. Some echelons of
the
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apply
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society subscribe to
this
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belief that they do not deserve exorbitantly high incomes.
This
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statement does not find favor with me and I shall explain
in
Correct pronoun usage
it in
show examples
the upcoming paragraphs. To commence with, one of the most plausible reasons why
celebrities
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deserve astronomically high earnings is that these days, people have to work round the clock
for catering
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to cater
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to their basic needs.
Due to
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this
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, they have monotonous lives.
As a result
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, actors and
sports
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persons play an instrumental role in people’s lives for entertainment.
However
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, if there are
not
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no
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actors, why will people have not dull and dreary lives?
Besides
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this
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,
sports
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celebrities
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have a
short-career
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short career
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span as
compare
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compared
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to other professions.
For instance
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, a
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sports person
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sportsperson
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enters
in
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apply
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the
sports
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field usually at the age of 17-18 years. But,
individual
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an individual
the individual
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has to retire usually at the age of 34-35 years. It means a
sports
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person has to spend his entire life with the help of earnings which they
make
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makes
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during
this
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sports
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-
career
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-career
span.
Furthermore
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, another reason which cannot be missed is that
celebrities
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of
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in
show examples
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sports
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the sports
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arena and
tinsel
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the tinsel
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world have to make many sacrifices to earn hefty
amount
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amounts
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of
money
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. For
examples
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example
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, they cannot enjoy
freely
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themselves freely
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at
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in
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public places
such
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as ordinary people
as well
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as
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and
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they have to sacrifice their privacy and freedom
at
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in
show examples
public places. Even their children have to make
such
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sacrifices.
Hence
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,
celebrities
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should earn more
money
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than other professions.
Apart from
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this
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, everyone has to burn
mid night
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midnight
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oil to be
a
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apply
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successful in the
sports
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and film field.
For instance
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, they have to surpass hundreds of thousands of
competitions
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competitors
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for becoming
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to become
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prominent.
As a result
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, it is their right to earn
big
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a big
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chunk of
money
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. In compendium, given the aforementioned information, it is quite evident that there are multifarious reasons to justify the exorbitantly high incomes of actors and
sports
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person
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persons
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from providing entertainment to confronting
cut throat
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cutthroat
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competitions.

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coherence and cohesion
Make sure to clearly present your main ideas in each paragraph. You can start each paragraph with a clear topic sentence that tells the reader what the paragraph is about.
coherence and cohesion
Try to add a summary sentence at the end of each paragraph to connect your ideas better. This can help the reader understand how your points relate to your main argument.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples to support your arguments. For instance, you could mention famous actors or athletes and their contributions to society or the economy.
task achievement
Use simpler language in some areas. For example, instead of 'astronomically high earnings,' you could say 'very high earnings.' This will make your essay easier to understand.
task achievement
You presented a clear opinion on the topic and provided reasons to support it.
task achievement
Your use of examples related to the careers of actors and sports persons is a strength in your essay.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general
What to do next:
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