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Writing Samples
Band 8

The bar chart below shows the percentage of Australian men and women in different age groups who did regular physical activity in 2010.

The bar chart below shows the percentage of Australian men and women in different age groups who did regular physical activity in 2010.
The bar chart compares the percentage of people doing regular exercise, both male and female, in Australia based on
age
Use synonyms
groups
Use synonyms
 in 2010.
Overall
Linking Words
, it can be seen from the data that the majority of
age
Use synonyms
groups
Use synonyms
 of females, ranging from 25 to 64, did more physical activities than males.
However
Linking Words
, in most younger
age
Use synonyms
groups
Use synonyms
, males dominated females. In terms of regular exercise,
men
Use synonyms
 aged 35 to 44 were nowhere near as active as
women
Use synonyms
, recording approximately 53% compared to nearly 40%.
Similarly
Linking Words
, in two distinct
age
Use synonyms
groups
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—46–54 and 55–64—the level of consistency in doing physical activities among
men
Use synonyms
 was not as high as that of
women
Use synonyms
, with females leading with just over 50%,
while
Linking Words
men
Use synonyms
 recorded below half of that percentage.
In contrast
Linking Words
, for younger
groups
Use synonyms
,
men
Use synonyms
 constituted a higher percentage than
women
Use synonyms
.
Although
Linking Words
women
Use synonyms
 were almost as competitive as
men
Use synonyms
, their rate was slightly below 50%, compared to approximately 54% for
men
Use synonyms
.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words age, groups, men, women with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "percentage" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "compares" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "approximately" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Physical activity
  • Regular exercise
  • Age demographics
  • Participation rate
  • Trend analysis
  • Gender disparity
  • Health initiatives
  • Public health policies
  • Statistical comparison
  • Lifestyle choices
  • Work commitments
  • Age-related factors
  • Preventative health
  • Exercise habits
  • Surveillance data
  • Motivators and barriers
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