IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Prison is the common way in most countries to solve the problem of crime. However, a more effective solution is to provide people a better education. Do you agree or disagree?

In the contemporary era, the topic of the benefits of
prison
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 has undeniably become a critical issue for the general public.
While
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 some
individuals
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 argue that offenders should be locked in
prison
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, I firmly assert that the government has better offers to provide a better
education
Use synonyms
 for them, raising their awareness.
This
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 essay will provide a thorough examination of these contrasting perspectives. On the one hand, it is essential to recognize that
individuals
Use synonyms
 should acknowledge the significant advantages associated with
prison
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 for society. A crucial consideration is
that
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apply
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public safety, which highlights that prisons help remove dangerous
individuals
Use synonyms
 from society, thereby reducing crime rates and protecting citizens.
For example
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, it seems to be a massive opportunity for rearranging social order by enforcing laws and imposing penalties for criminal
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
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; prisons contribute to maintaining social order and upholding the rule of law.
In addition
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, another pivotal point to emphasize is punishment, providing a consequence that reflects the seriousness of their action.
This
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 is
due to
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 the fact that time spent in
prison
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 can provide
individuals
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 with an opportunity to reflect on their choices and the impact of their
behavior
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behaviour
show examples
, potentially leading to personal growth and change.
On the other hand
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, it is vital to examine the opposing viewpoint that having access to good
education
Use synonyms
 quality will give crime a hand in rehabilitation. A noteworthy factor to consider is that illegal people will have employment opportunities, which emphasizes that some specific
education
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 offers work programs that can help inmates develop skills and work experience, aiding their chances of employment post-release.
Furthermore
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, it is paramount to underscore that many
education
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 systems provide programs aimed at rehabilitating offenders. These can include educational classes, vocational training, and therapeutic programs designed to help inmates reintegrate into society after their release. In conclusion, an analysis of the differing perspectives on the advantages that
prison
Use synonyms
 gives
for
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to
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 offenders highlights the time to think about their actions and the chance to get a better
education
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. Ultimately,
it is clear that
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 humans will have a safer and more hilarious life without crimes.
This
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 examination prompts
individuals
Use synonyms
 to thoughtfully consider their preferences and the experiences that influence their enjoyment.

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Task Achievement
Make sure that your introduction clearly presents your position. This will help clarify your stance for the reader right away.
Task Achievement
Add more clear examples to support your points. This makes your arguments stronger and helps the reader understand better.
Coherence and Cohesion
Improve the flow by using linking words like 'firstly,' 'furthermore,' and 'finally' to connect your ideas more clearly.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your conclusion should restate your main ideas more confidently to leave a strong impression on the reader.
Task Achievement
Your essay addresses both sides of the argument fairly, which shows an understanding of the topic.
Task Achievement
Your points about the benefits of education in reducing crime are relevant and important.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • tackles root causes
  • preventative approach
  • critical thinking
  • decision-making skills
  • recidivism rates
  • equipping
  • socio-economic benefits
  • underlying factors
  • poverty
  • ignorance
  • lack of opportunities
  • rehabilitation
  • ineffective
  • higher rates of re-offending
What to do next:
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