IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Prison is the common way in most countries to solve the problem of crime. However, a more effective solution is to provide people a better education. Do you agree or disagree?

In the modern era, the topic of crime has emerged as a critical issue for the general public.
While
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 it is often argued that prison is the prevalent method to cope with the crime problem, others firmly believe that education is an effective way in
this
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 context. I partly agree with the above ideas.
This
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 essay provides a thorough examination of these contrasting perspectives. On the one hand, it is imperative to recognise that there are a multitude of benefits of prison which extend far beyond arresting criminals. A pivotal point to consider is that keeping people who commit crimes out of the world can save them and the inhabitants in that place.
This
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 activity can prevent them from endangering the surrounding world, which protects them from mental and physical injury , and the prisoners will not mislead their patterns. An additional crucial aspect to highlight is that the jail can teach them a series of things.
This
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 stems from the understanding that prisoners can engage in vocational training classes. These courses help them have the ability to find a suitable job, which provides services for earning a living.
Besides
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, they are taught about moral lessons, which helps them develop a more positive personality.
On the other hand
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, it is significant to examine that discipline should not be underestimated. A noteworthy aspect to consider is that schooling nurtures people to develop good ethics, which emphasises that individuals can be aware of what they are doing and how to distinguish the good and bad actions.
As a result
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, they would avoid doing bad things in the eye public like stealing wallets and money, or even scamming via the Internet.
Furthermore
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, it is essential to underscore that not only does education improve dwellers’ characters, but it
also
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 opens career paths for people in the future.
This
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 assertion is supported by the fact that the teacher has responsibility for teaching and training students to follow their passion and job. In conclusion, an analysis of different perspectives highlights that learning and prison are equally important in creating a safer environment.
This
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 examination prompts individuals to consider their preferences and experiences that influence their concerns thoughtfully.

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content
In the intro, state your clear view about the topic. A strong line like: 'I think education is the best way to cut crime' can help.
structure
Make the topic sentence in each paragraph tell the main point of that paragraph.
content
Add simple examples or facts to show your points, such as a small story of how school work can stop a crime.
structure
Work on the flow by linking ideas with easy words like 'also', 'but', 'however', 'so'.
language
Fix hard phrasing and use simple common words. Check 'out of the world' and other awkward phrases.
strength
The essay tries to show both sides and has a clear closing idea.
strength
There are some good links between ideas in parts of the essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • tackles root causes
  • preventative approach
  • critical thinking
  • decision-making skills
  • recidivism rates
  • equipping
  • socio-economic benefits
  • underlying factors
  • poverty
  • ignorance
  • lack of opportunities
  • rehabilitation
  • ineffective
  • higher rates of re-offending
What to do next:
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