IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

The graph gives information about changes in the birth and death rates in New Zealand between 1901 and 2101. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph gives information about changes in the birth and death rates in New Zealand between 1901 and 2101. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The line graph depicts information about changes in the
rates
Use synonyms
 of births and deaths in New
Zealand
Use synonyms
 from 1901 and its predicted values for 2101.
Birth
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 and Death units are measured in thousands.
Overall
Linking Words
, the
birth
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rates
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 of New
Zealand
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's Population fluctuated during the
period
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 of time,
while
Linking Words
 death
rates
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 of the country increased significantly and
is
Change the verb form
are
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 projected to remain stable in a certain time
period
Use synonyms
.
In
Change the preposition
At
show examples
 the beginning of the
period
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,
birth
Use synonyms
rates
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 grew gradually from 20,000 to about 65,000 in 1961. It
then
Linking Words
 fluctuated to 60,000 between 1981 and 2001.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, the
birth
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
rates
Fix the agreement mistake
rate
show examples
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 New
Zealand
Use synonyms
 plummeted to 42,000
at the end
Linking Words
 of the given
period
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. With regards to death
rates
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, New
Zealand
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 experienced high mortality
rates
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 of 10,000 from 1901 with a sharp rise to about 15,000 in 1921.
In addition
Linking Words
, mortality
rates
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 of New
Zealand
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 are expected to increase considerably to 60,000 in 2041 and
remaining
Wrong verb form
remain
show examples
 at
this
Linking Words
 value up until 2101.

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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 78%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words rates, zealand, birth, period with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "fluctuated" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 3 times.
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