IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

'Telecommuting' refers to workers doing their jobs from home for part of each week and communicating with their office using computer technology. Telecommuting is growing in many countries and is expected to be common for most office workers in the coming decades. How do you think society will be affected by the growth of telecommuting

It is irrefutable that modern
techonolgy
Correct your spelling
technology
 plays an important role
by
Change preposition
in
show examples
 changing ways of doing all
works
Fix the agreement mistake
work
show examples
 to make
individual's
Correct article usage
an individual's
show examples
 life easier. In
this
Linking Words
 contemporary era, telecommuting is growing day by day in
numerours
Correct your spelling
numerous
 countries and feel that
this
Linking Words
 will be the popular method of doing
work
Use synonyms
 in
next
Correct article usage
the next
show examples
 some years. In
this
Linking Words
 essay, we will discuss both
Correct article usage
the
show examples
pros and cons of telecommuting in terms of affecting society
with
Change preposition
while
show examples
 providing
Correct article usage
a conculsion
show examples
conculsion
Correct your spelling
conclusion
at the end
Linking Words
. There are many benefits of remote
work
Use synonyms
 for workers as well
for
Correct word choice
as for
show examples
 companies.
Firstly
Linking Words
, it provides
opportunity
Add an article
an opportunity
the opportunity
show examples
 to
emplyees
Correct your spelling
employees
 to gain
work
Use synonyms
-life balance as they can spend more time with their
faimly
Correct your spelling
family
 members and they can easily manage their personal responsibilities.
Secondly
Linking Words
, it is one of the best
idea
Change to a plural noun
ideas
show examples
 in reducing traffic congestion and pollution as
less
Change the quantifier
fewer
show examples
 cars on the road
everyday
Replace the word
every day
show examples
 which leads to
clean
Correct article usage
a clean
show examples
 environment.
For example
Linking Words
 , during
covid-pandemic
Replace the word
the COVID-19 pandemic
show examples
 in India, all
mutinational
Correct your spelling
multinational
 companies started
Use synonyms
work
Wrong verb form
working
show examples
 from home which resulted in
less
Change the quantifier
fewer
show examples
 pollutants in
air
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the air
show examples
 and
better
Correct article usage
a better
show examples
 environment as per
article
Correct article usage
the article
show examples
 of Hamdard newspaper.
Thirdly
Linking Words
, it is beneficial for both
emplyoees
Correct your spelling
employees
 and employers in the connection of costs by saving commuting fares and office space expenses respectively.
Conversly
Correct your spelling
Conversely
, telecommuting leads to some negative
impcat
Correct your spelling
impacts
 on society as well.
To begin
Linking Words
 with ,
as
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
people
work
Use synonyms
 from home, which increases the feeling of isolation as they
not
Change the verb form
do not
did not
show examples
 get any chance for social interaction and they feel
bore
Change the form of the verb
bored
show examples
 in their daily routine by doing
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
work
Use synonyms
 which
impact
Change the verb form
impacts
show examples
 their mental health in a bad way.
Moreover
Linking Words
, telecommuting reduces the chances of promotion because workers are unable to show their
more
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
strength on computers. In
concusion
Correct your spelling
conclusion
, I believe that in
upcoming
Correct article usage
the upcoming
show examples
deacdes
Correct your spelling
decades
 telecommuting will be more popular due
its
Change preposition
to its
show examples
postive
Correct your spelling
positive
 impact on both
empoyers
Correct your spelling
employees
 and
empoyees
Correct your spelling
employees
. By taking steps on
personal
Add an article
a personal
show examples
 level , workers can
esaily
Correct your spelling
easily
 deal with mental health in a better way.

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coherence and cohesion
Make sure to organize your points clearly. Each paragraph should have one main idea that is easy to follow.
task achievement
Provide more examples to support your main points. This will make your argument stronger and clearer.
coherence and cohesion
Pay attention to spelling and grammar. Mistakes can make it hard to understand your ideas.
task achievement
You clearly stated the main idea of your essay and provided some good points about telecommuting.
task achievement
You used relevant examples to back up your points, which helps in understanding your argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Telecommuting
  • workers
  • home
  • office
  • technology
  • society
  • affect
  • balance
  • family
  • responsibilities
  • traffic
  • pollution
  • environment
  • cost
  • employers
  • employees
  • space
  • isolation
  • interaction
  • traditional
  • flexibility
  • hours
  • productive
  • satisfaction
  • opportunity
  • rural
  • urban
  • jobs
What to do next:
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