IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people say that advertising is extremely successful at persuading us to buy things. Other people think that advertising is so common that we no longer pay attention to it. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.b

There is no denying the fact that TV or radio advertising is crucial
while
Linking Words
 it is a commonly held belief that makes us buy things there is
also
Linking Words
 an argument
that is
Linking Words
 something we watch every day in our lives.
This
Linking Words
 essay will analyse
this
Linking Words
 topic from both points of view and express my opinion. On one hand, advertising is a beneficial method whether it is through social media or
tv
Correct your spelling
TV
show examples
 or anything else.
In other words
Linking Words
, big companies and local brands need to market their products by advertising because
this
Linking Words
 is the only way to tell others about new things.
for
Linking Words
example
Add a comma
example,
show examples
 Coca-Cola company started in 1985 until now has never stopped marketing and advertising their products even when it is popular and they have a lot of sales but they know
this
Linking Words
 is an effective method to increase sales.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the traditional way the companies use it for advertising makes the individuals bored and don't pay attention to it, it is
also
Linking Words
 possible to say that need to improve their method and think outside of the box.
for instance
Linking Words
, there are a small company in Behren that
marketing
Replace the word
market
show examples
 their products by going to the street and letting everyone try their cream and decide if it is worth it to buy it or not before they buy. In conclusion, there are no easy answers to
this
Linking Words
 question. On balance
Linking Words
however
Add the comma(s)
, however
show examples
,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 tend to believe that advertising is something necessary for all businesses and consumers.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence and cohesion
Improve the organization of your ideas. Use clear paragraphs for each main point.
task achievement
Make sure each argument is fully explained and supported with more details.
task achievement
Use more varied examples to strengthen your points.
task achievement
You introduced both views and gave your opinion clearly.
task achievement
Your example of Coca-Cola is relevant and illustrative of advertising success.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: