IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Due to rise in university fees arts subjects like history and philosophy should not be taught anymore. Only degree courses should be taught for better employment oppertunities. Do you agree or disagree?

In
this
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 contemporary era, students are interested in learning science and mathematics in order to explore different exquisite employment opportunities. I agree with the statement that educational institutes should not be taught arts
subjects
Use synonyms
. To commence with , the majority of the pupils opted for medical and non-medical streams because these
subjects
Use synonyms
 are the future of the country . There are so many innovations done in the past which were based on science which is why , students find it more fascinating and they
also
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 want to explore and discover new ideas
thus
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 , they choose science and mathematics over history and philosophy which sometimes seem
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
boring
subjects
Use synonyms
.
For instance
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, the innovation of AI and chatGPT are the most popular to attract the attention of younger .
Moreover
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, getting an expensive education is now a burden for some individuals so , they think why not opt for new
subjects
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 as compared to the older ones if they pay substantial fees they have the right to earn more which is possible through the new approach.
For instance
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, doctors and engineers earn more as compared to history professors so ,
this
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 way they can get a better future for themselves and fulfil their needs .
To conclude
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, nowadays, students have education advisors and with the help of the Internet they have better insights into which professional they can opt If University fees surge
then
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 they will definitely go for degree courses for their future survival and a decline in history
subjects
Use synonyms
 will cause a complete shutdown of art courses from the institutes

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task achievement
Make sure to clearly state your position in the introduction and consistently support it throughout the essay.
coherence and cohesion
Use more linking words (like 'firstly', 'therefore') to connect your ideas better and improve the flow.
task achievement
Include more examples and details to support your arguments. This will strengthen your points.
structure
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion.
support
The use of examples like AI and doctors helps illustrate your points.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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