IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

In many countries, the number of animals and plants is declining. Why do you think it is happening? (causes) How to solve this issue? (solutions)

There is no denying the fact that wildlife existence is crucial for the planet's balance. since the amount of animals and green landscapes is decreasing has raised significant concerns. In
this
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 essay, I will discuss the causes
for
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of
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this
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 phenomenon and provide possible solutions.
To begin
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 with, there are many reasons for
this
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 matter.
Initially
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, despite the fact that rare species of animal are at high risk of extinction, governments did not consider preserving them from the poor living conditions.
For example
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, in South Africa, a minimum of two elephants are found dead each year
due to
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 dehydration even though authorities were informed about
this
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 issue.
In addition
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, the absence of well-defined regulations to prevent overhunting has affected many types of animals' offspring.
Moreover
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, some people believe that the number of plants is declining because of environmentally harmful behaviours
such
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 as the random cutting of trees, which will impact negatively our environment. In terms of the useful aspects, governments should take proactive steps by implementing rules and regulations regarding poaching activities.
For instance
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, set a high amount of penalties when
founding
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finding
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 hunting activity without the required permissions. Another solution to consider, increase society's knowledge about the crucial role of green lands
where
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which
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it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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filters
Correct subject-verb agreement
filter
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 the air from enormous toxins. To illustrate, air quality was tested in two conditions, the first one in the middle of Jeddah and the other one between gardens, carbon dioxide concentration was significantly less in the presence of plants. In conclusion, there are many approaches towards preserving wildlife and natural landscapes
where
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and
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 authorities should pay attention to
such
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 matters.

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coherence and cohesion
Your introduction gives a clear outline, but it's a bit unclear. Try to make it simpler and more direct.
coherence and cohesion
Some sentences are too complex. Aim for clearer ideas in each sentence, making it easy to understand.
task achievement
You have good examples, but try to connect them better to the main points of your argument.
task achievement
Make sure your conclusion summarizes the main points clearly and leaves a lasting impression.
task achievement
You identified important causes and solutions for wildlife decline, which is a key part of the task.
task achievement
You provided specific examples that related to the topic, which enhances your argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • biodiversity
  • ecosystem
  • urbanization
  • deforestation
  • agricultural expansion
  • pollution control
  • greenhouse gas emissions
  • renewable energy
  • sustainable practices
  • overexploitation
  • invasive species
  • conservation
  • quarantine measures
  • eradication programs
  • public awareness campaigns
  • habitat destruction
  • climate change
  • natural habitats
  • species decline
What to do next:
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